Speedy Gonzales

This morning while it was still dark, a high school girl was hit by a car near the local high school. Apparently, a helicopter was flown in, but she did not have to be “life-flighted.” Good news, right?

I know this because today, while I was at the grocery store in a gigantic hurry–I am always in a gigantic hurry–the checker (clerk? the grocery-scanner-lady?) chit-chatted with the mom and daughter ahead of me and they related this story to her in a very unhurried manner while I was tapping my fingers on the conveyor belt and reading magazine covers and wondering just how slow exactly she could go–she stopped scanning so she could more fully engage in conversation.

And then when it was my turn, she wanted to recap the conversation with me, asking if “we” were that careless when we were that age. I was just thinking, HURRY HURRY HURRY I HAVE A MEETING IN THIRTEEN MINUTES. (And the drive home would take ten minutes if I disregarded the 25 m.p.h. speed limit, which I did, sorry Public Safety Officers.)

The problem is that no one is as quick as me. I wash dishes faster than anyone you know. I cannot walk slowly, no matter what, no matter where. I am constantly five feet ahead of my family when we go somewhere and if I slow down, they slow down even more, so I can’t win. (Well, I could win if there were a finish-line, but alas, there is no finish-line.)

I fold clothes fast. I type fast, really, really fast. I read fast. I drive fast. I am in a big hurry all the time. And no one else in my world shares that perspective. They are all lollygagging around, taking their sweet time doing whatever it is that people do when they are not in frantic pursuit of quickness.

The only thing I do positively slowly is wake up. I am the slowest-waker-upper in the entire hemisphere. But I make up for that by emptying and filling the dishwasher in the time it takes my oatmeal to cook in the microwave.

I am saving time. . . I hope I’ll have enough saved up to slow down at some point. But I doubt it. (Now, move aside so I don’t have to run you over. HURRY.)

10 thoughts on “Speedy Gonzales

  1. Ha, my younger son (now 20 and in the UK) is like that too. So there’s at least one other person in the world. He was born in an hour, from waters breaking (two weeks early) through to delivery. He couldn’t even take that slowly. He did nothing in the right order (eg potty trained himself at 18 months, but didn’t walk till he was two), taught himself to read at three and now reads faster than anyone I’ve ever met. He types faster than I do (and I manage 100wpm easily) and walks at an unbelievable pace. He likes efficiency, and speed, and when I ask him to fix a computer problem, he clicks and selects and does everything in about 20 seconds, leaving me totally bewildered … thankfully he hasn’t yet learned to drive. He’d rather catch the bus because he can read another book in his 45 minute journey to college each day …


  2. But pl–eeze slow down and enjoy the journey! Sometimes it can be important to just sit and ponder – or wonder – or wander, aimlessly. Why rush it? You’ll just have to do it all again 24 hours later anyway. So take time to enjoy.


  3. You do sound like a dear person and I enjoy reading yoru blog, but I also can bet that we would drive each other crazy in real life. I’ve spent a lot of my life wishing that tomorrow would hurry up & get here (for one reason or another), & you know what? I’m almost 47 & I now wish I’d taken time to enjoy some parts that I’ve just rushed through. So I’ll be that dawdling woman in the grocery aisle that you’ll have to swerve around, & the one driving the speed limit in the school zone. I apologize in advance!


  4. Mel! I haven’t been to your blog in YEARS. Literally! I just ran across a link from another site and thought, “OH YEAH! I liked to read her!” LOL! As I always remembered your writing … this was a really cute post! I, also, do everything fast. I eat fast. Walk fast. Talk fast. Write fast. Think fast. Except run I guess. I definitely don’t run fast. 🙂 Anyway just wanted to say howdy!


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