7 Reasons I Hate Twitter

When I heard about Twitter some years back, I thought it sounded perfect. I am, after all, a voyeur at heart and love to know what other people are doing.

Eavesdropping is an awesome past-time, if you ask me.

What’s not to love, then about Twitter, that space on the Internet where everyone tells you what they are doing or thinking in 140 characters or less?

Here are seven reasons not to love Twitter. In other words, Twitter, let me count the ways I hate you:

1) I hate the way people promote their projects or sites by putting in links to other sites. I’m sick of clicking. I’m sick of your ads and self-promotion.

2) I hate dumb abbreviations. “U” is not “you”. I dnt care wut u say. (See? I hate that.)

3) I hate seeing half of a conversation between people who don’t seem to realize that their personal conversations are boring. So, when someone says, “thanks, so-and-so, I do, too!” I hate it. Use a text message. Send each other an email or a smoke signal but don’t “tweet” at each other. I don’t care about you and your private conversation.

4) I hate “retweets.” If I’m following someone, I don’t want to see a string of twenty “retweets” showing me a bunch of stuff from people I don’t care about. This is especially true for celebrities who are “retweeting” people who beg to be “retweeted.” SO. BORING.

5) I hate a dozen tweets in a row from the same person. Stop it.

6) I hate advertising, especially “promoted posts.”

7) Donald Trump. Why am I following him?

So why do I still have Twitter? Because occasionally I want to see what everyone else is doing, like tonight when Ellen DeGeneres Tweeted this from the Oscars:

If only Bradley’s arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap