Okay, you asked for it.
Here’s what I think about some things, both petty and not.
I was raised to dress very modestly. At some point, modesty veered into shame when I began to hate my body. But that’s not why I disapprove of strapless tops and dresses for women.
I disapprove because they are almost always extremely unflattering. You know who looks cute in a strapless dress? Taylor Swift because she is lithe and tall and has a small bosom.
The rest of us? No. Please. Just, no. It’s just not cute. I even disapprove of strapless wedding gowns. I just think that most women look better in sleeves. No more smooshed boobs. Please.
Seriously. Look around and you’ll have to agree with me.
You’ve probably heard the news about Yahoo hiring Marissa Mayer as its new CEO. The only reason this news is newsworthy is because Ms. Mayer is pregnant. I guess that’s big news because everyone is wondering how she will manage to tackle her new job at Yahoo while being a new mom.
I’m sure she will hire excellent help since she has the resources to do so. I heard someone (on a daytime talk-show) say that she will have be able to take the baby to work with her. That’s what I want to discuss.
I work from home. I’ve worked from home for almost five years now, starting when my youngest child was four years old. And I’m here to tell you that a mom who thinks she can work full-time while simultaneously taking care of a newborn is nuts. Well, maybe that’s too harsh. Actually, no. It’s the truth.
Taking care of a newborn baby is a full-time job. Taking care of a baby is a full-time job. Taking care of a toddler is a full-time job. You can’t just tuck a baby under your desk and pull it out like a doll when you have a minute here or there.
I assert that if you are working full-time and taking care of babies full-time at the same time, either you aren’t a good employee or you aren’t a good mom. I would never have been able to do this job when my kids were younger than four. It was a challenge to balance work and childcare even when my kids ranged from four to fourteen.
Maybe I’m the only one willing to admit that I could not simultaneously care for a newborn baby and work full-time. Maybe my babies were just particularly needy. But I think babies should be held and talked to and babied. How can you do that while devoting yourself to a demanding job?
I have no doubt that Marissa Mayer can be an excellent mother and an excellent CEO. But she’ll need to hire help. And then she’ll need to clear a shelf to store all the Mommy Guilt she’ll experience when she realizes that she can’t be in two places at once.
Tattoos. Listen. I have seen lovely tattoos. And I have friends and family with tattoos. And I love those people.
But I don’t understand the point of tattoos, especially the ones that look like doodles written on a high school Pee-Chee. Stars and hearts and calligraphy, oh my. Don’t even get me started on the faded green color or the smeary lines or the ones done on the back of the neck. You can’t even see the back-of-the-neck tattoo. Why get it at all?
Here are the people who are allowed (in my kingdom) to get tattoos: Marines and rock stars.
And I know that most of you have tattoos because everyone has one these days, so I don’t mean YOU. I’m sure your tattoo is lovely and meaningful and all that. But don’t get me started on tattoos written in other languages. If you don’t speak Chinese, why would you get a saying inked in Chinese on your arm? (Are Chinese people getting American slogans inked on their forearms in English?) I just do not get the tattoo craze.
Okay, there you go. Enough recklessness for tonight.
Please feel free to speak up and share your thoughts.
(I have already unwittingly ignited controversy on my Facebook page where I not only complained about making school lunches for my 14-year old, but I admitted that I make school lunches for my able-bodied 14-year old. How dare I do something for my son when he could do it himself! Hey listen. No one ever made me a school lunch after fifth grade. I quit eating lunch at school after that. ((Sometimes I’d have an apple out of the apple-vending machine. They cost a dime.)) I shouldn’t complain, I guess, because I am never going to insist he make his own school lunch. I’m the mom. I make the lunch. But I hate controversy so I didn’t say a word in my Facebook comments.)