Sometimes I am too aware that my blog is on the Internet. I am tongue-tied with sudden shyness and want to duck into the other room so I don’t have to talk to anyone. I want to type something here before I go to bed, but as I scroll down the list of potential topics, I discard each one. Too personal. Can’t talk about that. Wouldn’t want to mention that.
I’m aware of eyeballs watching, afraid of silent judgments, unwilling to discuss the real life I’m living right now.
So.
Hmmm.
What do you want to talk about?
I know! Let’s talk about shopping.
Last night at about 1 a.m. I started shopping online for a dress to wear for an upcoming occasion. I’d like to know why almost all the available dresses are sleeveless? What are middle-aged women with mushy arms like me supposed to wear? And the necklines . . . hello? Am I the only woman in America who does not want to reveal my cleavage to the general population? Let’s not even talk about belts that hug the upper ribcage which make you look like you’re wearing a maternity smock.
I shopped and shopped and shopped . . . and gasped a little at the dresses that cost more than my couch . . . and finally ended up with a few things in a virtual shopping bag. I am going to go check tonight and see if I still think those dresses would work. If they don’t, I’ll return them.
And on Saturday, I’m going to the mall, which is probably the dumbest place to go on an August afternoon. The guys at the kiosks accost me every time. I feel like I’m walking down a metropolitan sidewalk, avoiding panhandlers. But maybe I’ll find something that makes me look cuter than I feel and will make a good first impression.
Where are Stacy London and Clinton Kelly when you really need them?
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Haha! Funny you should write this, after just emailing me about you and your mom talking about me the other day. Hello?! There are people out there who actually TALK about me?! I dunno how often you find the time to come to my actual blog, since I comment here and you answer in email form…but I’m a gut-spiller of the finest kind. I learned early on when it comes to Dear Hubby’s family…that is off limits. But beyond that I am definitely a TMI blogger. Isn’t that what makes us REAL, tho? What I write is what’s flowing thru my head at the moment. My blog is the threshold to ME. My daughter says my blog sounds just like it does carrying on an every day conversation with me. Without a bazillion interruptions, when I have the time to sit down and actually carry one on, HA! But not many who know me in real life are ‘privileged’ to have my blog address. I am very very very selective in who I gave/give it out to. So that give me some freedoms you may not have. I gave it to my younger brother once when he wrote something for me, and a cousin of my mom’s in NH has it, and a niece. But I think my cousin is the only one who ever comes to read it. I guess why I try to keep it as real to my every day life as I can is because it’s my ‘living’ journal for my grandboys to have some day. And I want them to remember me as me and no one else.
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yeah, I can totally relate. and my post-mastectomy, lopsided body is even harder to shop for now. I’m not even 40 yet, this shouldn’t be this hard. I would so love a little help from Stacy and Clinton
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I thought I was the only one that thought empire waists made everyone look pregnant. That’s the only beef I have with Stacy & Clinton, they talk about how slimming it is, and recommend it for EVERYONE. Um. No. I may be chunky, but I still have a real waist. You know, at my waistline? I don’t think the best way to disguise the low belly pooch is by belting under my bazooms.
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Just once, ONCE , I would love to see Stacy and Clinton help someone who is larger! ONCE……….
Oh, and a pet peeve of mine is that the stores in the malls have tons of cute clothes in smaller sizes, then when you go to the attic or wherever to find the larger sizes, there’s nothing cute. (I’m aware that’s a run-on sentence and not the correct way to write.) I mean really, would it hurt to make some cute clothes in sizes that I could actually fit?
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I tend to resort to a stretchy camisole under everything. Stretchy because it doesn’t gap open at the “bosoms” and high enough to cover the “bosoms.” I think I have one in every color imaginable and then some. I also use 3/4 sleeve cardigan thingies. Sometimes a crochet type thing and sometimes a regular knit, but lightweight for summer. The evening, especially if it’s breezy, can be cool, especially with our ocean breeze, but I use them even during the day, even in the summer. They hide the bat wing thing and complete the outfit. They are great for Sunday mornings cuz the AC inside is freezing! I’m with Esther. Most of the affordable styles are made for teenagers that weigh about 80 pounds and have no….errr….shape! Frustrating.
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