What’s the most unexpected thing that ever happened to you?
When I was seventeen, I worked at Taco Time. I drove my dad’s hatchback to work sometimes. (Usually I drove this small yellow pickup truck which one time died on the freeway, many years before the days of cell phones. I ran off the freeway, across several roads to the mall where I pounded on a window of a closed department store until someone let me to use the phone.)
On this particular sunny day, I drove the hatchback with my window rolled down. I pulled up to a stoplight at the intersection close to the freeway when I felt a sort of slap on the side of my head.
I thought perhaps a piece of trash flew through my open window and hit me in the head. As as the light turned green, I swiveled around and saw a bird in the backseat.
That bird had inexplicably flown through my open window, colliding with my left ear before landing in the back of my car. The little bird jerked as small birds do and looked at me with beady eyes and threatened to peck me to death. At least that’s the message I got.
Because we all know that birds of any size are terrifying.
I wanted to fling open my car door and run screaming but instead, I drove to my stepmom’s office where I raced to her desk to beg for help. She walked calmly outside, opened the hatchback and the bird flew away.
Why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah, because I was seventeen.
I’m not a fan of birds in close proximity.
A few years ago, I bravely took the kids into a Lorakeet exhibit at the zoo. Once inside the enclosure, a Lorakeet dived into my naturally curly hair and became entangled as I stiffly asked a nearby woman, “Uh, can you please help me remove this bird from my hair?”
And then I got out of that exhibit.
So, let’s recap.
Birds belong in trees, in nests, in nature.
Birds do not belong in my car or in my hair.
So, tell me something weird that’s happened to you.