Why I should be demoted as chief cook and bottle-washer

We returned home from church at about 2:00 p.m.  I immediately set about cleaning up my kitchen.  Once the dishes were all washed, I peeled potatoes in preparation for dinner so we could have mashed potatoes with the roast cooking in the Crock Pot.  Then I decided to cut up the cantaloupe.  Then I thought I should clean and cup the tops off the strawberries.  I followed that by washing and chopping a head of iceberg lettuce and two bunches of Romaine lettuce.  I boiled three eggs.  Then, as a final flourish to my exemplary homemaking, I decided to bake banana bread using my Martha Stewart cookbook.

My husband suggested that I go to a movie while he took the kids to football conditioning.  We talked about it and I decided on a 5:00 p.m. showing of “The Proposal.”  (I had to work tonight at 9 p.m.)  Perfect.

While the bread was baking, I rushed upstairs to help my daughter clean her disaster of a bedroom.  It was truly horrible, but we managed to find a place to stash all her stuffed animals.  My secret hope was that I would find her missing Nintendo DS.  Which I did.  Because I rock.  It was zippered into a small backpack which was shoved into the bottom of a toybox under a dozen stuffed animals.  It’s been missing for weeks, maybe months.

The stove buzzer rang.  My son hollered upstairs to let me know.  I ran downstairs, pulled out the banana bread.  It looked perfect.  Then I lost my mind.  Completely.

I lost my mind because I looked at the clock and it was 4:30 p.m., the time I had intended to be already on my way to the movie.  So, without further ado, I got out a cooling rack so I could let the banana bread cool.   Then I stupidly decided to remove it from the pan by dumping it upside down.  The loaf fell into a steaming clump of banana bread onto the rack.  The bottom of the pan retained the bottom of the bread.  Oops.

Then I realized I hadn’t boiled the potatoes to accompany the roast.  In fact, I had no idea it was so late.  I’d been lost in a time warp of stuffed animals and old stickers and markers and doll clothes and blankets.

So, in one fell swoop, I lost my Suzy Homemaker badge.  I ran upstairs to inform my husband that I didn’t get the potatoes cooked or mashed and that I ruined the banana bread but just leave it because it might be okay anyway and bye I have to run or I’m going to be late and sorry I didn’t get dinner quite done.

The movie (“The Proposal”)  was good.

When I got home, I cut the banana bread into chunks.  I made mashed potatoes.

Another weekend gone in flash.  And I handled it with my usual measure of grace and competence.

One thought on “Why I should be demoted as chief cook and bottle-washer

  1. Banana bread tastes good no matter what form it takes, be it lumps and chunks or slices from a loaf.

    I hear you about finding things squirreled away in weird places. Mine excel at cramming supposedly precious toys and games into the weirdest places, and then whining when they can’t find them the next day. It’s amazing.


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