You might notice that I’ve been writing these posts in the dark hours of the night. I work until midnight, then check out my email, Facebook, blogs and various Internet things. I might fold a load of laundry and take dishes in to the kitchen because my children all have broken arms and can’t carry their dirty dishes to the sink. Or fold the blankets they snuggled with on the couch.
And then, it’s one a.m. or one-thirty and I realize how tired I will be in the morning. So I go to bed.
Then I can’t sleep.
The past two nights, I’ve been awake at 2:30 a.m. One of those nights, my daughter woke me at 4:30 a.m. Then my husband got up at 5:30 a.m., my son came through my room to use the shower at 7:00 a.m., my daughter woke up at 8:00 a.m., and when I returned home from taking her to school, I went directly back to bed where I had hallucinogenic dreams. Seriously, I dreamed that my husband came home to pick up something and I couldn’t rouse myself and when I woke up later, I wasn’t sure if it had happened or if I only dreamed it. Did he come home? Or not?
I almost called him to check, but then resisted that urge so he didn’t think I had finally lost my mind for good.
I would be so happy to go to bed and fall into a deep, dark, dreamless sleep, but instead, when I finally sleep, it’s restless and filled with nutty dreams.
I have always been a good sleeper. Once I slept through a hurricane, in fact. I am a sound sleeper–I mean, I WAS a sound sleeper. I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow and didn’t wake until the alarm rang. Now, I don’t even use an alarm because my kids wake me.
[Funny thing: I just heard footsteps upstairs–my daughter was awake, in my room, standing by my side of the bed, trying to tell me she had a bad dream. . . I ran up to try to keep her from waking my poor husband, so she told me about her bed dream while she used the bathroom, something about kitty litter on the counter by the toaster and the cat sitting in it?]
Anyway. Sleep. Elusive sleep. Come to me, stop running away! And note to my Brain: Stop with the bizarre dreams. I can’t take anymore.
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Remind me to tell you about the call I received from my bank’s Fraud Unit!
14 thoughts on “Sleep and how I can’t seem to”
Do all your kids really have broken arms at the moment? Or was that a ‘tongue-in-cheek’ comment? If they do, what happened? 🙂
Hey – maybe if their arms are broken, they won’t be taking the dishes to their rooms, just to leave there.
I’m not wishing that, of course, but am just saying – that could be a good news/bad news item.
Oh, honey…how old are you?? I think I was around your age when sleep began eluding me, too. That’s just the early stages of perimenopause kicking in is all, Mel. I had a good friend at work 6 years older than me and Evelyn gave me good advice. Don’t fight it. If you can’t sleep, get up and read or putz around on the computer for a bit. Download a mindless game like Rainbow Web and play that. It sounds like, “WHAT?!? Stay up when I need sleep??!” but, honestly, it does work. Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting your restless mind switched off or focusing it on something other than the thoughts going thru your head. I went thru a spree of it for a few years, then it eased up and I only have an occasional nite like that now. When I do it seems to coincide with a restless nite for Dear Hubby, too. So we get up, put on the coffee, and have what he calls a ‘slumber party.’ It’s amazing how cozy and comforting it is to have someone else to chat quietly with in a dark house. Oh, and another thing I do on nites like that…I just start praying for anyone and everyone who enters my head..even YOU!
Oh, and check in on some of the natural sleep remedies. Or try Black Cohosh. I used that for several years until my ‘lady land’ health issues really kicked in and had to go on real hormones. It helped a lot.
Oh Mel, I can truly sympathize. I don;t have to work till midnight but I just do not slow down until very late at night and then morning always comes way too quickly. I’m valiantly trying to wrestle my way back into a sleeping routine for when school starts again.
I hope you’ll get to catch up
Gosh, it must be our age – I’m having sleep issues, too. Wake up at 3 something every morning and can’t fall back to sleep – until about 10 minutes before the alarm. Then I fall into such a sound sleep. Now on the weekends when I can sleep in? I’m up at my normal wake up time – sans alarm – and that’s it for me. Sheesh!
I’ll bet it’s an age thing, too. I went through this about a year ago. Finally, in desperation, I took some Tylenol PM each night for less than a week. It’s as though it “trained” my body how to sleep again. I had to take it before 10:00 so that I wasn’t groggy in the morning. A friend tells me that Sleepy Time Tea (Celestial Seasonings) now comes with an added ingredient that is very good.
Hope you find something that works for you. Lack of sleep is just the pits.
My youngest child is 10 years old. She did not start sleeping through the night UNTIL SHE WAS FIVE FREAKING YEARS OLD. Seriously. Those five years have ruined me for every having a normal sleep schedule again. I go to bed at about 11 p.m., am asleep usually by about midnight, and up at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. JUST BECAUSE. I lay in bed, think about nothing and everything, and just as I get drowsy and doze off, the 6:45 alarm goes off and it’s time to start the day. It catches up to me about once every two weeks and I just sleep away an entire weekend.
No advise, just empathy. Sorry.
I’m sorry to hear this. It stinks being awake all night and then having to get up after little to no sleep and work all day, while being expected to be coherent and efficient.
My wife had been having trouble getting to sleep in recent weeks, so she’s demanded that I tell her a made-up story every night so she can fall asleep listening to it. Either I’m that boring or I’m somewhat soothing. Seems to work, anyway.
I am a little thick sometimes… now I get it 😉
Mel, to be honest, you sound a wee bit depressed.
When I know I’m about to have trouble sleeping, I take some melatonin. I don’t take it every day because I usually don’t need it. But occasionally I do, and it helps.
I find that when my sleep cycles are disturbed like that, it’s one of my indicators that my depression is on the rise and I need to take steps to work through it.
But that’s just me.
At any rate, I will pray for you, dear one.
Oy, I’ve been suffering through some major insomnia too. What helps me is listening to a Yoga Nidra guided meditiation on my iPod. I may not fall to sleep immediately, but I manage to get to a restful state anyway.
I downloaded a version from audible.com I think.
Hang in there, mama!
xoxo Happy New Year!
Good luck getting to peaceful sleep
sleep is elusive for me, too, at the moment. i find myself crawling into bed at 3 or 4 in the AM then dragging all day the next day??? i blame the bipolar and the winter…and prolly the hormones since i had a radical hysterectomy over a year ago and am not on any hormones. (y?? cause i don’t have a death wish, yet)