In which I complain for no particular reason

I know my blog looks weird. I just don’t know why. I hope it will be fixed soon.

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I have a couple of silver frames which have lost their luster. A meticulous housewife might have a schedule for polishing silver, but I do not. I am a half-baked housewife, one who often has no idea at 5 p.m. what she’s cooking for dinner, one who rearranges the ironing pile instead of ironing, one who leaves dishes in the sink overnight. I don’t do “spring cleaning” and dust only when company might be coming over (or at Christmas-time, whichever comes first).

I feel a lot like that tarnished frame these days. I do not shine, I do not reflect the light. I need a good polishing–I ought to be sent away to a shop or something for re-plating. (Do they re-plate silver?)

I’m just worn out, frayed, boring. How do other people do this?

Don’t you hate whiners? I hate whiners. I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings, blah blah blah. But it just feels like the road goes uphill all the way, in the snow, and I am barefoot. I went from having twins, to babysitting a houseful, to giving birth–oh, and had a brief respite when it was just me and him when his brothers were in school–and then another baby and more babysitting (years of babysitting) and then, wonder of wonders, this full-time job.

It’s so much more fun to be a student with an academic schedule. Summer! Remember summer? And a two-week break at Christmas. . . and those random holidays students get all the time. Adulthood means NO MORE HOLIDAYS, just a carefully hoarded accumulation of ten days to get through the whole entire year.

I tend toward the blues. I know that. I know that’s what this is all about. I just feel down for no particular reason which means that my whole life is cast in this shadow. I’m tarnished.

But! Tomorrow morning my hair colorist is coming over and by noon, I will at least have lustrous hair once again. And that is something. Better than a sharp stick in the eye, anyhow.