Wrinkles and little uninvited purple veins

“Mom,” she said, “When I’m an old lady will you be dead?”

Alas, that’s probably true because I was at an “advanced maternal age” when I gave birth to her after a quick labor. (She was born at home, a fact I am inordinately proud of, a fact that does not come up in casual conversation, so I will just casually mention it here. In fact, both of my younger children were born at home, in rented birthing tubs. One labor lasted 43 hours; the other lasted 6 hours.)

They were also unplanned pregnancies, little jolts of surprise. So, when she was born, I was 37 years old, almost 38. And I just may be the oldest kindergarten mom. Funny, because 10 years ago when my twins were in kindergarten, I was also the oldest kindergarten mom, almost.

One of the weird things about aging is not feeling old. I feel like the same person I was when I married my husband twenty-one years ago. And then I will see the face of a professional football player on Monday Night Football and I will say, “Boy, he looks young,” and my husband will say, “He’s twenty-three,” and I said, “I could be his mother!”

But I’m not because my children came along when I was getting old.

Do you have those days when you cannot believe how unattractive you look, when you curse the unkempt mop of hair on your head and wonder at how fat your face looks when you gain twenty pounds? Or is it just me? I would have just stayed under the covers today and eaten ice cream if I weren’t such a responsible (OLD!) person.

Being old is inevitable. Unless you die.

13 thoughts on “Wrinkles and little uninvited purple veins

  1. I am the oldest Kindergarten Mom at 37. Sigh. The next oldest is still in her 20s! I miss being at least closer in age to the other Moms like when my 8th grader started Kindergarten…that is when I feel old, realizing really how young the people around me are.

    That and the extra poundage, the lines, the grays, and the odd little aches and pains that have arrived.


  2. I’ll be turning 50 in February. I know what you’re saying. If I had any decent ice cream in the freezer, I might just play my irresponsibility card today.

    Nice to meet you, by the way! Love your blog!


  3. i have those days all the time. i just turned 33 and i can’t believe i’m 33!! i have been married almost 15 yrs (oct. 30). my son would have been 14 (aug 15th) and my daughter is going to be 12 this next month!!! 12!!! man i’m getting old, lol being responsible is WAY overrated!!! i’m with you!! **crawls back into bed with the peanut butter cup ice cream**


  4. You folks are not making me feel better. I gave birth to my first child at 35 and my 4th child at 42. My youngest has not started kindergarten yet so I MUST still be a young mom, right? Sigh! Some days I really feel my age. I had good reasons to think I would miss being a mom altogether so being an older mom is more than OK. Having four kids is not a mistake or a problem but a wonderful surprise and a gift. I do wish more people could understand that.


  5. Yes, yes, DEFINITELY I have those days. I’m going on 52, which I still can’t believe. I think you can still look good at this age, but it takes an extraordinary amount of high-maintenance and every trick in the book.

    Youth is definitely wasted on the young! In my 20s, was I enjoying my unwrinkled face and smooth hands? Oh, no…I was obsessing about my weight, of course.


  6. I was the youngest mom when I had my first at 20, and now I’m the oldest mom since I had my third at 30. But, my mom had my youngest sister at 40 and she says she feels younger than the other moms. I still feel old.

    You’re right, being responsible stinks. So, today I am being very lazy.


  7. I was 38 with my youngest and the worst was when she started pre-school and I thought it was so neat that they sent some kids from the high school child care program to observe the class. It turned out they were other moms.

    I’ve since gotten over it. Now that I’m 50, I have days when the saggy skin, wrinkles and age spots seem to be taking over. I found a great book — How Not to Look Old — and it has given me hope.

    But yes, there are days when I want to stay in bed and watch old movies. Pass the Peanut Butter Cup ice cream, please. No, the carton will be fine, with a spoon.


  8. Yes I feel old but you know what? Age is just a number. Let me lose a few pounds, or a hundred and then I will feel better.

    I just turned 33 years old last month. I am determined that by 40 years old I am going to be as beautiful as I was when I was 20. I don’t believe in cosmetic surgery or any of that junk but with a lot of exercise, healthy eating, a decent wardrobe and a great hairstyle anyone can be beautiful. And we all KNOW that beauty starts on the inside. Negative attitude begets negative everything else!

    And something else: I saw a lady at WalMart yesterday who had to be in her 80’s and she was just as bouncy as my 3 year old. She was smiling and jolly and had a cute little figure. I told myself if she can be happy and joyful, so can I!


  9. This is funny cause I was just saying to someone today that I sure am young to have so many grandkids. Heck I could have great grand kids before I’m 55. Now that would be weird. Possible but wierd.


  10. Yep. I’m right there with you! I was 37 when my son was born and when we went to his preschool Open House a few weeks ago, I realized I’m old enough to have birthed a couple of the other moms. YIKES! But what annoys me the most is when people assume that my husband and I are our son’s grandparents. Double YIKES!

    Still, I wouldn’t trade a moment of it!


  11. I’m commenting to make YOU feel young again! My youngest has started kindergarten this fall as I stare *50* in the face. There! Does that make you feel better?! LOL! Actually, we homeschool so at least I don’t have to face all those mothers who are old enough to be my oldest children…hee hee!

    And this summer/fall I coached a soccer team for the first time. I truly laughed out loud when after kicking all the balls into the sidelines after practice one night one of the kids said, “Hey, you kick like a grandma!” I had to tell him that I was allowed to kick like that because I AM a grandma!

    Really, I think everyone feels like they must be younger than they actually are…and the key is to enjoy that young feeling as we never know how the Lord has numbered our days!

    Tammy ~@~
    Garden Glimpses


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