I dreamed last night about swimming with the walruses. They frolicked like chubby, graceful submarines, all whiskery and jolly. And I felt such joy swimming with them in the blue-black lake water.
I’ve been swirling in a slow-motion whirlpool of change and endings and too much work. School ended last week, we are saying good-bye to our church congregation–a good-bye dinner last Sunday which ended with my 10-year old sobbing into my shoulder–and just because I know how to pile it on, a garage sale this Saturday. Oh, and in exchange for only working 6 hours on Mondays and 4 hours on Tuesdays, I am now working 12 hours on Wednesdays, 10 hours of Thursdays and 9 hours on Fridays. Two of those nights end at midnight and the mornings begin at 8 a.m., so I am not just burning the candle at both ends. I am a towering inferno of exhaustion.
(So many metaphors!)
None of our kids wants to leave our church. As I mentioned, the 10-year old has been demonstrating the most grief, openly crying at the mention of leaving. One of my teenagers sat down tonight and said, “Mom, can I still go to our church? I don’t want to go to another church. I want to go to my church.” I believe this attachment is good and healthy and reasonable–none of them really know any other church–but alas, it must end.
The stress of everything has catapulted me into a frenzy of overeating. For instance, a key lime pie someone baked has been a nightly source of comfort and regret to me. Oh delicious key lime pie, why must you be so soothing and simultaneously fattening?
I hope to be here more regularly. I need to be here more regularly. Writing is good medicine for what ails. If you can’t swim with walruses, that is.
8 thoughts on “Does this mean anything?”
My oldest daughter didn’t like leaving our old church, but she’s made a lot of friends at the new church and loves it. She still visits the old one with her grandparents sometimes, so she gets to see those friends occasionally, too. There is a couple in our church who switched churches last year, but their two teenagers still go to our church without their parents. I also know lots of families who have made a clean break to a new church and their kids survive just fine. I’m sure that if you do what God is leading you to do, God will take care of your kids.
It’s three in the morning, and I’m sitting here wondering if we have the ingredients for key lime pie. YUM!!!
Walruses would be fantastic cuddly swimming partners, assuming they’re friendly. I hope you do get some rest, dear!
I know you’ve got lots going on in your life right now so I’ll definitely be keeping you in my prayers. Just finished reading over at Diet Naked…been there, done that, and I sympathize SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! Here’s a (((((HUG))))) in the early hours of today so it’s not a sweaty one yet, haha! Expecting almost 100 degrees today and I think you are, too.
Instead of swimming with walrus’ you could be dancing with them (I love this video – it’s on my iPod.
Speaking from experience, it is most likely not a good move to let your kids have a foot in two churches. I tried that and they are still struggling with fitting in at the new church. (For what it’s worth)
I think I’ve missed something about why you’re moving churches, so I’m not sure what is prompting that. However, we’re struggling with ours. My husband and I are more connected than the kids, well, actually it is more me. But, its a long distance away and I know youth group activities will be so much harder. I want to find another church close to home as my son is getting older now, age 8, but I’m already so involved that it will be hard. You make me realize though that if we are going to move, I need to do it now before the kids get too attached. I know that must be difficult!
I have had dreams of whales and of hippos, but never walrus. At least one of those dreams felt to me very clearly as call from the Lord to act on something in my life. I am still trying to find a way to do that and hoping not to have one of those dreams again.
writing is AMAZING medicine, mel. thanks for the validation.
miss you, friend. if i was there, i’d eat the key lime with you. =)
Change is so extremely hard. It would be hard even if your children weren’t upset, and even if you weren’t working WAY too many hours.
I am positive you will move past the key lime pie stage. You can’t do everything at once though!
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