My nose is cold all the time. When I was fat, I looked forward to losing weight and cooling off. If you haven’t been fat, you might not know this, but when I was fat, I was so hot all the time. (And not hot in a good way.)
Sure enough, I lost 60 pounds and I’m freezing all the time. And I’ve lost circulation in my face, apparently because my nose has turned into a little popsicle.
I have yet to write my World Famous Christmas Letter. Oh, I know. Christmas letters make some people cringe, but I write a little amusing one each year . . . I have done this for years and people tell me that they read my letter to their friends and OH THE PRESSURE. What if I cannot write an amusing Christmas letter? I need to carve out a little time to work on it.
HEY! We have a new couch and chair. I warned my children, “NO EATING ON THE COUCH!” and so far, they are all scared to death to even sit on it. This is the first new couch we’ve had in . . . uh, 17 years. The last couch I bought was white, which was a mistake, but I was not yet a mother and I had no idea that one day my toddler would barf Coke-flavored vomit all over it.
My daughter keeps bugging me to go to “the store where we bought those baby clothes” (I took her shopping for a baby shower gift) . . . she wants to buy a set of baby dolls she saw there. She is relentless. I doubt she will forget, even after Christmas. Lucky for her, she has Christmas money coming (a money-filled card from a relative), so I will let her spend that on another dolly. A girl can’t have too many dollies, you know. At last count, she had eighteen. (I know this because I attempted to quiet her begging by sending her upstairs to count how many dollies she already has.)
I don’t know. I can’t think because my nose is too cold.
Are you finished Christmas shopping? I am! And not only that, but last weekend, I wrapped everything up. I rock. Even though I haven’t yet begun writing my World Famous Christmas Letter . . .