I want to say something profound. But my profundity is drowned out by my hair. I am having hair issues and all I can think about is my hair and how I hate it. The dirty little secret nobody tells you is that when you age, your hair may change. My impressive, thick locks have dared to thin in the front. And then, some of the strands had the audacity to break off. The nerve!
For all I know, my entire head of hair is a shadow of its former self. I only know for sure that my bangs–now grown out to disguise the horror of thinner hair–are not what they were. And my wavy hair has turned curly, unruly and disobedient. I never have a Good Hair Day.
My curly locks come to my shoulders . . . and now I think that longer hair would be perfect. I used to have longer hair and I had it whacked off in one fell swoop because the long hair was weighing me down. Growing out my hair is my main hobby in life. If I’m not growing the length, I’m growing out layers. And then I cut it again. I never learn.
And so, my preoccupation with my hair, my self-loathing when I see my hair, and my bewilderment about my hair–should I stop using a blow-dryer and curling iron entirely?–take up all the space in my brain where I used to develop thoughts.
My hair is ruining my life. Why does my hair matter so much to me? (Don’t answer that. It’s because I am shallow and vain.)
* * *
My hair takes approximately five minutes to “do.” Because it seems so fragile, I am reluctant to submit it to torturous hot appliances. I do have it foil-highlighted, but my colorist only does the roots, not the entire length of hair.
I took this photo just a few moments ago. Apparently, not only do I need a hair transplant . . . I also need Botox.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
I. Am. Stunned. I LOVE your hair and every time I see your pictures I am jealous of it. I would never have thought that you hate your hair and that you have bad hair days. Never.
So how long does it take for you to get it to look as gorgeous as it does in your pictures? It’s time for the truth to come out! lol I am a wash-and-wear type person so I will never have glamorous hair except on special occasions – maybe. hehe.. I can relate to hair changing though… my bangs have thinned and are straight yet the rest of my hair is still very thick and more curly than it used to be. Of course I don’t even want to mention the gray that is getting progressively harder to hide… mainly in my bangs area. I went way too long in between coloring it and I was joking that I was going for the “Pepe Le Pew” look.
You aren’t alone in your quest for the perfect hair.
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Oh, I just must say that I can really relate right now. I am having MAJOR David Spade hair lately, and uh, that’s not good. I don’t know what to do- because I also want to grow it out but I am not enjoying it so the temptation to just cut it off again is getting me.
Steph
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Sometimes it’s the wrong product, or using it incorrectly. I’ve learned to condition every day, but never more than the ends, or my thick hair ends up flat.
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I’m nearly bald on top.
My scalp is now bright pink. I hate that.
I’m presently missing the center of one of my eyebrows, too. This has to do with my use of a blunt-nosed craft scissors. Somedays, I just do not think at all.
But, the BACK of my hair is thick and curly.
I feel your pain.
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I just got to the same exact point. And, what did I do? I cut it off again. A short, chin-lengthed bob. I’ve gotten complements and told it makes me look younger. Sometimes complements only make you realize how really bad you looked before, I think. Don’t you? (grin)
Go to a well-trained stylist. Tell them what you do not like and what you need. Tell them what frustrates you about it. Then, let them work their magic. That’s what I did. Tell them you are unfraid of change. Nowadays, stylist seem to hold back from doing what they think they should do, for fear of upsetting clients. But, sometimes we don’t KNOW what we need, we just know we hate what we have.
So, take the leap. Worst case, you won’t like it. But, it will be DIFFERENT. And, sometimes that in itself helps. Remember, it’s hair. It can grow and change so there’s no harm in trying something a little out of the comfort zone.
OK, now if you do this, be sure to post pictures so we can see it!!!
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I have many of the same issues as you do. My hair has always been curly, and never as thick as I would have liked. But it has thinned quite a bit as I have gotten older. As long as I keep it shorter and layered, approximately chin length, I can wear it curly. But right now I am in my “straightening” phase, meaning I wear it a little longer and straighten it with a flat iron. Yes, it takes a little longer than just washing it and letting the curls take over, but since my hair is thin, it really isn’t much of a chore. I use Nioxin shampoo and conditioner, which is supposed to help thinning hair. I really don’t know if it works or not because I’m afraid to stop in case the rest of my hair would fall out!! I still find LOTS of hair in the shower drain every time I wash it. My mother has very thin hair…I’m a little worried about what will happen to mine when I hit menopause. Why is it that we women have to worry so much about our hair?? Men just wash and go…..
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I have two things to say:
http://relevantblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/hair.html
http://relevantblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/watch-out-big-hair-alert.html
!!!
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I whacked off all of my hair when I started getting serious about losing weight. Now it is just growing back in, but is still very short. Mine is starting to get a lot of grey, and it’s not the color that bothers me, but the twangy quality of the hair. What has always been straight and thick is now kinky and wiry, like grey pubic hair. I could color it, but nothing is going to make it like my old hair again.
😦
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Ohmygosh, Mel…after a lifetime of people envying my thick hair, MY hair is thinning on top too!!! Friends and family swear they can’t tell, but *I* can, and it’s really disturbing. In my case, I think it’s just a side effect of the dreaded “aging.” Apparently this happens to a lot of women “my age.” So I’m not giving up the curling iron. I’m tempted to try Rogaine, though…
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I dunno if I’m the oldest one commenting here – I’m 53 – but I just had blood work done and I am 99.9% into post-menopause!!! YIPPEEEE!!! I have had periods since age 11. That said, welcome to the world of midlife, ladies…our hair where we WANT it thins. Hair where we DON’T want it grows. No matter what we weigh, our bellies bloat. I once had long, gorgeous, wavy chestnut-brown locks that fell halfway down my back. Since the age of 35, I’ve had a mop of silvery curls with a mind of their own. And I do mean curls! Did I mention excess gas?? Forgetfulness?? Oh, the list goes on…but NO MORE PERIODS!!! That in itself is worth it to me!!!
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I have always felt that my hair was the only beautiful thing about me physically. People have always loved it because its naturally blonde with a hint of red when the light hits it just right. It has begun to darken as I age and I hate it. I don’t want to lose what I love about myself. Be proud of your curls! Us girls with straight locks that refuse to even curl under would love to have your curls.
My hair stylist person provided me with a shampoo that I used as a child and it has worked wonders with building strength and also keeping my natural blonde color…”Shimmering Lights”. I highly recommend it.
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Maybe you could consult with Whoorl for one of her Hair Thursdays?
Personally, I think your hair looks great!
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I think you look mahvelous, dahling.
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I totally understand. It’s amazing to me how much we can find to dislike about ourselves. My hair is on the hormone rollercoaster right now…growing very quickly and thickening up, but I know that in less than five months, I’ll be losing more in the shower than a pomeranian in July! As for your curls, ask your hairdresser about products. I have heavy stick straight hair so I can’t help, but my understanding is that natural curls with the right product are fun and quick to “do”. Celebrate!
Oh, and by the way…I’m looking forward to a little thinning…I can’t ever get a comb through this mess!
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I’m 44 and going through bad hair days EVERY day. It’s depressing and has lowered my self esteem. I’ve always had straight fine hair, however, the past year it has turned THIN on top of it. I used Nioxin shampoo and it made my hair fall out and break off. Took me 11 months to come to my senses to STOP using Nioxin. My hair no longer falls out or breaks, but it’s still thin. I believe it’s the age thing…I feel very ugly. You’re hair looks a ton better than mine.
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I am 53 years old, and I am noticing a difference in my hair too. I have naturally, dark, blonde hair with very little gray.(I don’t color my hair) The texture of my hair isn’t as lively as it used to be. Sometimes it just goes wild on me. I have curly, wavy, hair, and its medium layered length.(the lay ers are almost grown out, thank goodness!)Anyway, don’t worry too much about your hair,because stress isn’t good for our hair either! I love my hair, and sometimes, I love to hate it too! P.S. I like your hair!
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