Pam asks: So…is there anything you regret in your parenting? Or your marriage?? Is there something you can say you’re really proud of, in your parenting? Or in your marriage?
Answer: Parenting regrets? I regret teaching my kids by example how to overreact and how to respond to each other with a voice full of irritation. I regret my imperfections, I guess. But I do not regret the major choices I’ve made with regards to parenting. I don’t regret choosing to stay home full-time with them, nor do I regret any school choices. I think I’ve done a pretty good job focusing on what really counts and overlooking what doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
I can’t think of much I regret in terms of my marriage. In my early marriage, I tended to assume responsibility for things that weren’t my problem. (He’s mad? Must be because I’m an awful human being. That sort of thing. Now I figure he’s having a bad day and that it has nothing to do with me.) I do wish I were more naturally affectionate–and I’m sure my husband wishes that, too. I tend to be a really super self-sufficient and self-contained sort of person, which sometimes leads me to assume my partner is the same.
I am extremely proud of the stability of my marriage. Never in twenty years has either of us mentioned or considered divorce. We both came from broken homes and entered our marriage determined to make it last forever. (And when you do that, you figure out a way to make it the best experience possible.) We really like being together and are very compatible in most ways.