Inappropriate questions I wish I could ask

1) So, how do you like your new boobs?

2) Why is your wife leaving you?

3) Do you know that your pants are falling down?

4) How much do you weigh?

5) What size are those pants?

6) How much money do you make?

* * *

And that’s just for starters. I am curious to a rude degree.

What about you? What questions do you wish you could ask (but never would because you have manners)?

26 thoughts on “Inappropriate questions I wish I could ask

  1. Ooooh, how about “do you know when you chew gum, you look like a cow chewing cud?”

    Oh wait, I’ve actually said that to someone…does that count?


  2. 1) Why hasn’t someone told you that your breath always smells horrendous?

    2) What possesses you scream horrible names at your little children in the mall?

    3) How did you get HIM?

    4) On what planet is it acceptable to clip your fingernails during church?

    5) Do you realize that you have no decorating taste whatsoever?

    6) To all men: why would you ever wear Speedos?

    7) Don’t you know that I can tell that you are judging me?

    8) Why did you decide not to have (or adopt) children?

    9) Do you realize that your brand new tattoo will look shriveled, dated, unattractive and silly when you are old?


  3. I wanted to ask this yesterday at the park:

    1.)Haven’t you realized by NOW that screaming at your kids like that accomplishes nothing?


    2.) Don’t you know that using the F-word while talking to your toddler is probably not appropriate?


  4. I would say,

    Who taught you how to drive?

    How dare you B**ch when you don’t vote?

    Are you planning on moving out of our neighborhood anytime soon?

    Hey! Aren’t you gonna pick up that dog poop??

    This child has autism, what’s your excuse?


  5. Wow, I love this entry and especially the other comments. Also, I’m super nosy. Mine:

    1) Why don’t you shave your chest hair instead of letting it poke out of your shirt collar?

    2) Who told you that wearing white gym socks with dress shoes and a SKIRT was acceptable?

    3) Why do you let your kids watch so much dang TV? Have you considered that 5 to 6 hours a day for a 3 year old might be extreme?

    4) Have you ever noticed that long dark hair growing from your chin/cheek? Do you own tweezers?

    5) Why don’t you comb your hair?

    6) Did you know that if you stop your foundation at the jaw, and it’s a different color than your regular skin tone, we’ll all be able to see the line?

    7) DITTO to the “how much do you make” question.

    8) Is deoderant not part of your budget?

    9) Were any of your kids accidents?

    10) Do you realize that your spouse is totally irritating and most of us dislike him/her but are nice because we respect you?

    Whew. . .


  6. 1. Why do you keep buying things on credit when you don’t pay the bills you have?

    2. Why did you get married out of high school instead of attending college?

    3. Were your parents alcoholics and/or abusive?

    These are general — not intended for anyone specific — but sometimes I wish I could ask these questions!


  7. about an annoying question I get asked that is utterly stupid?

    I get asked..after people learn I have five children…

    You know how that happens don’t you?

    Do people really think that softens the What were you thinking having so many kids question?

    I have a question for many of the ladies I run into at the pool each day…

    Why wear the bikini and sun yourself if you are going to ignore your kid and not help them in the pool? Are you really trying to get a ‘rise’ out of the teen age boy swim instructors?


  8. Speaking of the bikini/pool questions….

    Do you realize you have a forest sticking out of the leg holes of your bathing suit?

    Have you ever heard of a bikini wax?


  9. Question~
    Why didn’t you put a “put down your drink or you are gonna snort something out your nose when you read these great question” alert on here?!? You all are far more creative and funny than I am . I will, however, be stealing these for possible future use!


  10. Yep, I am as curious as you are! I would love to ask all of those questions plus:l

    1. How much do you make?

    2. How can you afford to live in such a nice house with that income?

    3. To people who have lost weight: How bad is your loose skin? Do you plan on having surgery to get it fixed???

    I’m sure there are atleast 100 other inappropriate questions I’ve always wanted to ask….


  11. Mine would be:

    Are you trying to be rude, are do you just have poor manners?

    Did you go to classes to learn to be that mean, or is meanness your ‘gift’?

    Does anybody like you? And if so, could you have them call me and tell me why?


  12. Did you look in the mirror before you left home?

    Is your hair stylist blind?

    Why move to the south if you hate southerner’s so much?


  13. Were you at the end of the line when God handed out intelligence?

    You’ve traveled 10 miles now…are you ever gonna turn off the ‘turn signal’?

    Are you waiting for the next green light?

    Do you have to snort and clean out your sinuses during the sermon?

    How often do you wash your thong?

    Did you know you can’t make your child mind by dislocating his/her shoulder from yanking on it?

    Why do you insist on dressing like a teenager when you’re 40/50/60 years old?

    Do I REALLY want to be your friend?


  14. I once asked a farmer how much land he farmed (and by inference, how much he owned). His girlfriend later told me that he considered that as rude as asking someone how much they have in savings.

    Well, excuse me all to pieces! Now, ahem, I know not to ask that one.


  15. Mine is for a specific friend of mine…. but I’d never actually say it to him:
    So, what does your new girlfriend think of the fact that your ex-wife left you for cheating on her? Why were you and your ex-wife the only two people I know surprised by the split?


  16. Like LisaLouise,
    1) Why hasn’t someone told you that your breath always smells horrendous?

    2)Did you look at yourself (or your hair) before you left home?

    3) What makes you fart more than usual?

    4) Do you know you are being a collosal ASS?


  17. “Why can’t you just be KIND?”
    “Do you know that when you are disrespectful/mean/abusive to your children when they are young, they will become horridly sassy, disrespectful/mean/abusive teens and adults?
    “When did it become acceptable to swear in public?”
    “Do you know that they make clothes in ALL sizes, not just itsy-bitsy?”

    And the number one question I want to ask everyone but never would because it is socially unacceptable:
    ‘DON’T YOU AGREE THAT MY CHILDREN ARE SO PRECIOUS AND WONDERFUL AND SMART AND FUNNY AND GREAT?!’ Some people may not see things my way–isn’t that wierd?


  18. I understand you Melodee, I am extremely curious too. I have the urge to ask all kinds of frank questions, not to humiliate people, but simply because I really want to know!

    However most of the comments here are simply rude/ridiculing comments in question form. That has nothing to do with curiousity. Not sure if some of the readers understood your question.
    Fun reading though.


  19. My burning question, because I witness this ALL THE TIME:

    Why didn’t you wash your hands after you came out of the public restroom stall, before you returned to the restaurant/store/cry room at church?



  20. 1)Does your mother know you dress that way?
    2)Is that phone call really that important for you to be talking and driving?
    3)Where do all these people work who live in these huge houses?
    4) When you said that in your head did it sound like an appropriate response?


  21. Very interested post!! My list would be way to long!! haha.

    But heres one for those husbands who have trouble remaining pure.

    – How many girls did you gaze on that day at the beach with your wife and kids?

    OW! HARSH!!
    My husband and I discuss purity and remaining faithful not only with our actions but our eyes and thoughts. Because like it says “to lust with our eyes is in the Lords eyes adultery of the heart.”

    and I often wonder how many christian men realize the importance of this


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