1) My feet got bigger when I got fatter. Go figure. Usually, even when you’re fat, you can still shop for shoes, right? My feet went from a svelte size 8 to a hefty size 9.5. I can’t figure out which Clearance rack to browse these days when I go to Famous Footwear, the shoe store I love. (They shrunk and now I’m back in an 8.)
2) My 4-year old has swimmer’s ear, which I diagnosed myself. (I remember last summer.) I know that a few drops of vinegar dripped into her ear will cure her, but she acts as if I am dripping hydrochloric acid into her head. Even after I prove to her that she will not die from vinegar, she still cries because the drops are “very cold.”
3) My husband has a cold. He insisted that it was “allergies” for the first twenty-four hours. He’s never had an allergy a day in his life.
4) My 9-year old burst into tears this morning. Upon questioning, he admitted that he lost library books and owed “thirty dollars, probably!” I realize now that he has suffered from his secret knowledge of this mistake and subsequent guilty conscience for the past two weeks and that explains his somber face that I wondered about from time to time. He will receive only mercy, no punishment–his regret is punishment enough.
5) A few years ago, one of my other sons lost a library book about the moon. I searched relentlessly for that book. Three years later, it turned up. On the bookshelf.
7) The race for $500 is neck-and-neck . . . won’t you please click here and vote for me (Melodee H.) again? And, if you really love me, will you ask your friends to vote and put a link on your blog (if you have one)? Oh, you don’t even have to love me . . . just take pity on me . . . next month, we’re going to California with the kids and it would be so nice to drive our van rather than hitchhike.
8) Did you watch Tarzan when you were growing up? Remember the giant spider web? (1939 Tarzan Finds a Son!) Some days I am struggling in a giant spiderweb, just stuck while a pizza-sized spider heads my way. Oh, if you’ve ever seen that movie, you understand my dismay.
9) Five more days of school until summer vacation. But who’s counting?
10) Your turn. Tell me one haphazard fact about yourself. (And don’t forget to vote for me. Yes, shameless, pathetic, groveling . . . I know, I am.)