The thing about sleep is that once you begin to sleep through the night again, you want to repeat that every single night. Your youngest child reaches four and a half and the memory of waking every two hours around the clock for eleven straight months seems like a grim fairy tale. Everyone is capable of sleeping all night long and so you expect everyone to sleep all night long.
Silly you.
This youngest one, the one in curls, she is deaf to your pleas and when you beg, “Please, tonight, stay in your own bed, okay?” she says, “But I want to sleep in your bed.” And then you warn, “If you come into my room, I will just put you back in your own bed! So don’t come to my room!” She says, “Okay.” And you elaborate: “When you wake up in the night, say to yourself, Mommy doesn’t want me to come into her bed and then just roll over and go back to sleep.”
And then, at 2:00 a.m., you hear the door open. (How is it possible that a door opening can rouse you from a deep sleep?) You have two choices:
1) Grab bathrobe and child and march her back to her own bed where she’ll whimper when you say, “NIGHTY-NIGHT!” or;
2) Say, “All right. Climb in. NO WIGGLING!”
Last night, I foolishly chose number two and so, from 2:00 a.m. until 3:00 a.m., I curled with my back next to her as she rotisseried under the sheets. She claimed this morning that she did not wiggle, but she did. She wiggled and jiggled and tickled beside me until finally, in a fit of sit-com rage, I jumped from bed, scooped her up and plopped her back into her bed. Once in my own bed, I felt my heart thumping its adrenaline-boosted huff. It’s pretty hard to get back to sleep when you’ve just had a sleep-deprived, mini-meltdown at 3:00 a.m.
Tonight, I had a rational conversation with her and explained that mommy cannot sleep when the pink-pajama’ed one is near and she seemed to understand. She will understand when I fly from my bed at the first door-knob click and deposit her back into her own bed without enduring the hour-long aggravation of Princess Wiggles demonstrating her Kung-fu kicks while I pretend I am asleep.
I am in a fragile decade, the decade of the forties when I am still able to sleep all night long without my bladder knocking at the door or my joints creaking me awake. I want to sleep while I am able. She wants to be with me twenty-four hours a day.
I am so tired of being adored, especially in the middle of the night.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
LOL– this was great.
You should go see what I posted this evening…
Mary, mom to many
LikeLike
I feel ya girl……..I have been sleeping in the living room recliner (being big and fat and pregnant) and my 5 yo comes in and wants to sleep near me “I just need to be close to you mama”. I want to say “NO, LEAVE ME ALONE, go back to bed, I can’t sleep in the mommy sandwich forever”. Really he is so sweet, but come on.
LikeLike
I go back and forth. One one hand I cannot stand my kids sleeping in my bed. I also don’t get any sleep when they are there (they are 12 and 10) But then I think “they aren’t going to want to do this much longer” and I break down and let them. At least for the hour or so and then I kick them out (no plopping them back in their bed for me, I make them take themselves back….after all, horizontal is good at 3:00 in the morning!)
LikeLike
I feel you on this one, really I do. My two and a half year old “somehow” ended up in bed with me last night (this occurs about every three days) and I woke up with her arm slapping me across the face. Not to mention the throwing of the legs into the air to pull the covers down…augh. I have an intense dislike for sleeping with my kids…because all the sleeping is done by them.
LikeLike
Our youngest would wander in too in search of human contact. We made a place for her on the floor. She seemed content with that.
LikeLike
Oh, I hear you on this one, sista! My now almost-eight year old also “rotisseries,” as you call it. We have named her The Flailer. Usually she ends up perpendicular to both of us, making a giant H. The fleece has been our salvation. Whether it’s in her bed, our bed, our floor, or the family room, she is to stay ON THE FLEECE. Or else. So far, so good.
LikeLike
I feel your pain, except that my bladder DOES knock on my door in my forties. My four-and-a-half daughter does the same thing, only instead of wiggling, she hooks her legs over my body. Drives. me. insane.
LikeLike
When we were at this stage of parenthood my husband had what he called a “pallet” beside the bed. It was several layers of blankets and a sheet. When the kids came in they laid on the pallet and we all slept much better.
LikeLike
Oh yes. Would you believe it is my 8 year old who appears in my bedroom most often now? I think it must be a cyclical thing because right around 7 years old my oldest daughter did the same thing. It happens around 4 and then again around 7, at least it seems to in this house, and since I have one around each of those ages sometimes I have two little wiggly heaters in my bed. They BOTH slept in their own beds last night, though, and that’s happening more and more. Dare I hope?
LikeLike
GUM has been our saving grace. For each two nights our little darling in pink pjs stays in her own bed, she gets a piece of gum. She loves gum thanks to the bad influence of our weekly play date friend who is allowed two pieces of gum daily. And has forced me to now keep gum in my arsenal. And to endure a 4 year olds whiny “I WANT GUMMY” at any hour of the day. And once in the middle of the night, she said “Mommy, can i come in? I don’t really like gum anyway”. Until the morning when the tears fell like a fountain…
LikeLike
My son does the rotisserie trick as well, but my husband calls it the alligator death roll. (Have you seen that on PBS or the nature channel or something?) By the time he’s rolled all the way around two or three times, I’m ready to kill him.
LikeLike
HILARIOUS!!! I can definitely relate to ALL of this – loved the rotisserie cliche – CLASSIC!! I went thru all of this – mine are 21, 19 and 15 now tho – NO MORE!!! (and guess what? I. DON’T. MISS. IT!!!!!) 🙂
LOVE YOUR JOURNAL!!!
LikeLike