Sometimes I wonder what I’ve been doing with myself since November 28, 2017. That was the day my boss called and told me my job was over. I didn’t even finish my shift that day.
Originally, I thought I’d have time to clean out my home office, sort through books, organize files and drawers and really get my whole entire life alphabetized, once and for all.
Then I thought maybe I should sleep in every day and see as many movies as possible and read a lot and live a life of complete leisure.
But I had jury duty for two days.
Then I applied for a job I really wanted.
Then Christmas came and I had to shop and bake and decorate. I caught a cold.
The New Year arrived and I thought I might start working any minute. So I filled up my days with some part-time free lance gigs and regular mom-stuff like driving kids around and figuring out what to cook for dinner. My husband caught a cold, then left the country for ten days and while he was gone, I suffered with the cold.
So I was sick for three weeks with a stupid cold.
My birthday came and went. February arrived. I thought I might be working at any moment. I caught another cold. March came. I caught another cold.
Every month, I’d take another baby step toward getting the job I really wanted. I applied. I went to an initial meeting, then took a computerized skills test called CritiCall which took 3 hours. I had an oral interview. And finally, I was “selected” which meant I entered the long and arduous background check. I had a polygraph test. I was fingerprinted.
And finally, Saturday morning, I received an email telling me the date and time to appear at the Department to get my job offer.
And so I wonder what I’ve been doing these four months. I haven’t organized every detail of my life. I still have stacks of books and unnecessary paperwork and a pile of unclaimed clothing in the laundry room and unmatched socks in a basket. There are embarrassing cupboards in my kitchen.
I did watch all the movies nominated for an Academy Award this year.
I kid you not–I alphabetized my spices.
I emptied a giant file drawer and gave away a Barney (the dinosaur!) DVD, among other things that I emptied from a moving box directly into that drawer in 2011.
I went to Disneyland a few times.
I watched all five seasons of Breaking Bad and then listened to an entire podcast about it.
I did my taxes, my son’s taxes, my other son’s taxes and my mother’s taxes.
I cleaned out my closet and took five bags of clothes and shoes to Goodwill.
I’ve read a couple of books.
I finally filled two Legacyboxes with old prints and videos. I had those boxes sitting around for years and years, waiting for me to finally take action.
Now I can pop in a DVD and see myself thirty years ago, holding the arm of my dad as he walks me down the aisle. I can pop in a different DVD and see myself five months pregnant fifteen years ago. I can see my 15-year old daughter on the very day she was born. I can see my 20-year old son sitting on his brothers’ bed playing Nintendo when he was four years old. He’s wearing cotton pajamas and rubber boots and a backpack like Zelda.
This blog and those DVDs are like pulling on a pair of backwards glasses that allow me to see all the yesterdays that I had forgotten. That’s why I’m writing this blog again, even though this mundane details may seem boring to anyone else who stumbles across it.
The words I write today are a gift to my future self.
I write so I can remember.