Plans, shmans: Why I’m not getting anything done

I’ve scarcely left my house since last weekend.  My job responsibilities (for an online company) have increased recently and I keep accidentally working an extra hour or two each day.  I honestly don’t mean to, but then I look up and instead of seeing midnight on the clock, I see the small hand approaching two.

So I shut off the computer at 1:30 a.m. or 2: 00 a.m. and fall into bed, only to be awakened before 8 a.m. by my daughter.  My 11-year old son gets himself into the shower and off to school and sometimes (I am ashamed to even acknowledge this), I don’t even hear a thing.  (My husband leaves the house at 6 a.m.  I rarely wake up when he gets up and goes.  I know.  You had pictured me frying bacon and eggs while wearing an apron over my frilly bathrobe each morning, huh?  Well guess what?  I don’t have a frilly bathrobe.  And I’m a terrible wife, definitely not Southern-bred, because I have rarely cooked my husband breakfast before work.  Okay, not rarely.  Never.)

I’m not a morning person.

My daughter is a lot like me.  The other morning, she crawled into bed with me. She asked me to set the alarm for 18 minutes.  I said okay, set my phone for 18 minutes.  When the alarm rang, I said, “You need to get into the shower.”  She looked at the clock and said, “One more minute.  I’ll get up at 8:20.”

I have never told her that I prefer to get up on the multiples of five.  I don’t like to get up at 7:58.  I’ll wait until 8 on the dot.  If I sleep until 8:01, I’ll have to wait until 8:05.  If I miss 8:05, I’ll have to wait until 8:10.  I have some rules that must be followed.  This is not at all weird.

This can, however, cause some problems, like being late.

And so it did that morning with my daughter.  I had to sign her in and get a tardy slip that morning.  All because of the multiples of five thing that she doesn’t even know about.

So I take her to school.  Before school began I had these lofty plans about walking her to school and then continuing on for a long walk so I could get in my exercise.  The reality has turned out to be more like this:  Throw on sweatshirt and yoga pants.  Drive daughter to school.  Drive home, crawl into bed, check out email and Facebook on iPhone.  Doze off while listening to Regis and Kelly (after first marveling at Kelly’s perfectly toned, muscular arms).  Wake up reluctantly in time to shower and fire up the computer.  Begin work at noon.

This is bad for several reasons.

1)  I’m not getting any exercise.

2)  I’m not getting much of anything done.

3)  My life is slipping away while I’m dreaming strange dreams instead of . . . doing something worthwhile and valuable and creative.  Like cleaning out the storage room or sorting through my top dresser drawer (you do NOT want to know) or writing something stunning.

The problem is that I have to have sleep.  And I don’t think it’s unreasonable to supplement a measly six hours a night with a morning nap before work.  In fact, in some ways it’s essential because I don’t think I’d be able to work until midnight the next night without getting enough rest.

It’s a conundrum, really.  I have a little bit of spare time (in the mornings) but I squander it.

I’ve also been cooking dinner each night and believe you me, that is cutting into my time between the cooking and the serving and the cleaning up afterward.  That consumes my evening allotment of spare time.  Buh-bye.  Please take your belongings with you as you depart the plane.

How am I to write The Pretty Good American Novel if I don’t have ten minutes to rub against each other?

Well, now it’s past 1:00 a.m.  So I’m going to sleep.  But I wanted you all (all five of you) to know why I haven’t been writing anything pithy and amusing and thought-provoking here.  Because that part of my brain is broken.  And also I just don’t have the time.


20 thoughts on “Plans, shmans: Why I’m not getting anything done

  1. I hear ya’! Where does time go anyway?… I think there must be a pile of it hiding under something. Somewhere. Like all that clean laundry hiding under a king sized quilt in my bedroom waiting for someone to come along & fold it & put it away. Right. Like that will ever happen!


  2. Wow. I am the same way for several of the things you mentioned. I’m a horrible insomniac and I blame my laptop and the internet entirely. I have an internet/web job right now where they’ve drastically cut my hours, yet I”m still working the old ones to get it all done. So, I’m basically working for nothing, which aggravates me to think about. AND, the 5s thing? YES! I do that too! I will NOT get up just at a random time and certainly not on an odd number like a 1 or a 3. I do the same thing…the clock needs to read this and if I miss it, then I need to bump it to the next 5 increment.

    What can I say? We’re freaks. But, at least I know now that I’m not alone. HA! (P.S. Texas gal and I do NOT make breakfast OR iron for my hubby and NEVER will!)


  3. There is nothing wrong with your 5 thang. if only I could regulate my time issues I would gladly share with you and the world my secrete…and make millions of tons of money.

    I’m sure I would.


  4. I totally do that 5 minute thing…except that I usually extend it to 15 or 20. No morning people in my house, thank the Lord, but dh has to be out the door by 6:55, and I rarely even kiss him goodbye, much less make breakfast! Ha!

    You are not alone, Mel. I hope that at some point you are able to cut back on those work hours.


  5. i can not stay up late…but i am old…and i have to get up by 6 am to get to work at 7 am…
    i want to retire so i can stay up late and sleep late…then nap in the middle of the day….
    will it happen…not unless a very rich person, whom i do not know know, leaves me money!!!
    hang in there sister…you will make it.


  6. You had me laughing out loud – just the visual of you, dressed in apron over frilly bathrobe, fixing bacon and eggs to serve your husband prior to him leaving for work at such an early hour. Did I mention I was laughing out loud?

    One of my big reasons for retiring was so I would never EVER again need to get up to the annoying sound of an alarm clock. If I go to bed at 4ish (and that’s a.m., don’t ya know) and get up around noon, what does it matter? But bacon and eggs might make me open my eyes earlier………..Until then, get some rest… we all could use some.


  7. Esther…especially since I now know you’re RETIRED…there is NO excuse for you not to have a blog!!! If you’re anything like Mel…and I can sense that you are by reading your comments…well, get those fingers TYPING, girl!

    (Mel, please pass this on to your mom, haha!)


  8. Im number 13! and the computer/ email/ blogs takes up waaaay too much of my time so I dont get things done. kinda like an addiction. I need an intervention.


  9. I’m the same way about multiples of 5. I don’t like to stop the microwave on a non-multiple-of-5. You know, if I just hit the “minute” button, but the food doesn’t need a whole minute, I can’t ever stop it on 17 or 11 or 3 … must be multiples of 5. So cool that someone else has the same quirk!! [:-)
    Oh, and I’m an Idaho gal who ALMOST never cooks her husband breakfast OR packs him a lunch. Incidentally, that has been a source of marital discord over the years.
    I hope you get some good sleep today. [:-)
    Rachel in Idaho


  10. I am so with you here! I get the boys to school and often go back to bed. Dh gets them ready for school. I have no routines and I’m not even cooking dinner. Must. Pull. Myself. Together.


  11. Cook your husband breakfast in the morning? Seriously, have never done that either. He gets home at about 7:30 PM, and many times he is finding his own dinner, as I didn’t cook – no one around here to eat at dinnertime anyway. I’m a terrible wife and mother,too. I hope your internet job pays really well, as it hardly seems worth it to not have time for much else….I got tired just reading your post. (and for the record, I’m not looking for anything pithy, amusing or thought provoking – just someone real, like me)


  12. So I am commenter #19, so either someone needs to comment right after me or I will have to comment again. We need nice numbers, divisible by 5:) I would love to offer great advice, but I was in the same cycle a couple weeks ago. Then I remembered something I read in the book, “The Athlete’s Way” that says you need so many sleep cycles for your brain to function at its potential. He says 7.5 hours is the least amount of sleep you should get. It completes the fourth sleep cycle, or something?! Anyway, I started going to bed earlier and trying to get more done in the morning. Staying up until 2 will wear you down eventually. All of this is coming from the woman who is avoiding her morning workout by checking blogs AT THIS VERY MOMENT:) Good luck, Mel!


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