Dear Stupid Driver:
Please use your turn signal when you intend to turn. Doing so will prevent me from freaking out and calling you names while I avoid crashing. Please! Use the blinker! The blinker is easy to use–just use your little pinky finger–and I promise, fewer people will be screaming at you if you simply display a little courtesy–and a tiny blinking light.
Sincerely,
The lady in the blue van
* * *
Dear Children:
Stop talking to me. Stop bickering. Stop tattling when your bickering turns into a brawl. Go away.
Love,
Mom
* * *
Dear Guy at Sports Authority:
You are not helpful. Thanks for nothing.
From,
The fortysomething woman with no make-up on who just wants to buy a bike
* * *
Dear Frangos:
I love you. Please, stay wrapped in your plastic until December 22 when I am done eating only the food on the PureFoods Fresh Start program. Don’t go away. Just wait for me.
Warmly,
The Chocoholic
* * *
Dear Cats,
Stop pooping. I don’t want to clean out your litter-box ever again.
Sincerely,
The Pooper-Scooper
* * *
Dear Manufacturer of Christmas Tree Lights,
My lights are dead. I bought them two years ago. What gives? Is this a conspiracy so I have to buy more every year? I am annoyed with you.
Ho-ho-no,
The Grinch
* * *
Dear Saturday,
Finally, we have a whole day to spend together. Let’s not be strangers. I’ll see you tomorrow!
Signed,
Stir-crazy near Seattle
Oh, this is the first year I won’t allow Frangos in the house! And I had to go get all new lights, too, for our tree. I think we might be one of the last left without a pre-lit. Oh well!
Steph
LikeLike
What a hilarious entry. I love it!
LikeLike
Mel, you’re not by chance having a bad day, are you? hehe…
Signed a fellow Scrooge…hehe….
LikeLike
As to the lights, I started saving a lot of money on replacing lights when I started buying light fuses. There’s usually a fuse inside the plug that is replaceable… a way to help all of us that string more than the recommended 3 together.
And you said the F word! Now I’ll be hallucinating about Frangoey goodness all day.
LikeLike
Ah, the blessings of being a mother with her family grown. I don’t have to put up a tree! And since I take care of my grandson, a very active little guy, full time that’s fine with me.
LikeLike
One year in frustration at having to repack all of those lights I threw them away, vowing to buy all new the next year. Of course, I forgot, until the tree was up and the children were ready to hang the ornaments. And yes, we did go out Right Then and buy more. Now, I have a pre-lit tree. I put it up in 10 minutes. Hooray! Hope your weekend improves.
LikeLike
Your message to the cats has me giggling, thanks for the chuckle.
😀
LikeLike