Hi. Wouldn’t it be nice if I put up a post that wasn’t begging for votes or indulging in self-pity over a bunch of nothing? (Teenage angst is so 1980s.)
Well, huh, too bad I have nothing to say. My biggest accomplishment of the day was putting away seven baskets of folded laundry, including socks. I actually matched up the socks that languished in the Sock Basket . . . no matter how much laundry I wash, I always have several dozen unmatched socks, leading me to question the symmetry of the universe.
Also, you should know that I inadvertently trained my crooked-tail cat to race to the front door at the sound of the doorbell. Talk about a stupid pet trick. Our cats are indoors-only cats, but this one sneaks out the front door at every opportunity, then immediately panics and begins to bang at the screen to be let back in. But, ding-dong, the doorbell rings and the cat runs to the front door. I’m forever nudging that cat away from the door with my foot while standing in the doorway talking to a neighbor.
What is distressing about my life at the moment (oh dear, more angst popping up) is how the universe continually collapses on itself. Nothing stays as it should . . . at the moment, I see five pairs of shoes scattered on the floor (only one pair belongs to me) and a bicycle helmet. I didn’t get the dishes from dinner washed because I had to rush out of the house to a meeting (of sorts, a sort-of-meeting). Tomorrow, I’ll start the day with my house in some disarray, which will drive me crazy, but that alone does not motivate me to want to deal with anything tonight. Why can’t things just stay where I put them? Why can’t clean things stay clean? Why, for the love of Pluto, can’t the couch cushions stay arranged on the couch instead of in a haphazard pile?
I know. I know. Kids. I’ll miss these kids when they’re gone. Yeah, whatever. If so, I’ll just go over to their homes and drink out of three different glasses, leave them stuck in a sticky ring on the coffee table, take off my socks, roll them into balls and toss them in corners and lose the remote control. Then I will put an empty milk carton in the refrigerator, smear my fingerprints all over the patio door and pee on the toilet seat.
* * *
Now, time to vote. Go, click on my picture (M. Helms, scroll down a little) and voila! I’m a little closer to winning $500! Thanks! (You can vote once a day.)
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Oh how I howled laughing at this. (how very unkind of me)
I would just add a couple more, soiled socks inextricably (at least not without some serious tugging and unwilling handling) linked with underpants like they are in some kind of dogmating malarkey, and (don’t read this if you are easily offended) DD’s used sanitary protection staring up at me from the unflushed toilet pan, or, worse, unbagged, resting on the edge of the bidet, hanging on only by the remnant of self adhesive.
Sorry. 😉 Will go and vote again by way of penance for mentioning unmentionables.
E
xx
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So when you win the $500 you are going to host a Fruity Cheerios party for all of your loyal fans? I know, I know – that will happen as soon as your home is in it’s perfect state – and stays that way for 24 hours. THEN we all get to come and have our Fruity Cheerios Fun!! Hope you win anyway!
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Seven baskets of laundry folded and put away???? You’re my hero!!! I WISH I could get that done at my house and I only have TWO kids (well, two little ones and a 42yo one, LOL!!!!) And FYI, either socks are the larval form of coat hangers or there is a parallel universe that finds EXTRA socks in their wash. LOL!! BTW, I voted…..again!! Looks like you are running away with this one!!
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So you seriously have seven laundry baskets?
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I love reading your post! I read it vicariously thru Trim and Fashionables blog. The picture of Fruity Cheerios is great and looks more real than the others. Love the cheerio necklaces…hope you win that $500. All mommy’s need that extra for themselves. =)
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I’m going to give up my blog and just send everyone over here. I swear you’re living at my house, and you are soooo good at getting it all down. I love the idea of visiting them all when they’re in places of their own, and giving them a good dose of their own medicine. I’m gonna keep voting for you. And you can keep those Fruity Cheerios, no need to share.
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Hey you are winning that thing by a mile over there at fruity cheerios! I voted again today! What are you going to do with the money or would that be counting chickens before they’re hatched?
Mel you could always do like I did and hire a housekeeper. Hey maybe you could use the fruity cheerio money to hire one! Nah, take that money and go on vacation!
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My goodness, 7 baskets. I have about that much to do. My goal for today. My daughter threw up last night so we can not go outside as we don’t want to get the neighborhood kids sick, even though one of them passed on germs to mine.
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You are my hero for just sorting socks and putting away 7 baskets of laundry! Oh my word. I hate putting away laundry. And I can relate to every empty glass, rolled up sock and 14 pairs of shoes laying around your house. I want to know how legos end up in every crook, cranny and crevice in my house???????
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Oooh, you’re gonna be a FUN grandma! “My grandma comes over and she always pees on the toilet seat.” LOL!
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How, for example, can a child go to put his dish in the dishwasher, see that the dishwasher is full & clean and just put it in the sink without once thinking about unloading it? Just adding to your rant…
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Apparently I’m behind in my blog reading…I didn’t realize you were in that Fruity contest. You got my vote!!
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