I have a molar that cannot be salvaged. I figured as much which is why I avoided having the twenty-year old crown removed and a new one put on. I suspected that once the dentist removed the old crown that the entire tooth would disintegrate into a mushy slush, which is pretty much what happened. The disloyal tooth had no nerve . . . years ago, the original dentist did a root canal, leaving the tooth without feeling.
I kind of wish my brain had had a similar procedure because I’d rather not have felt the dismay over my impending toothlessness.
Two dental assistants in the office all but sang and danced trying to distract me from my woe while we waited for the x-ray to develop. They extolled the virtues of the titanium implant that is in my poverty-stricken future. I’ll have to sell a kidney to gain a tooth. Or drain my body of all its plasma, sell it and then mortgage all my future plasma as well. I’ll have to grow my hair long, then cut it off and offer it for sale on eBay.
Gloom, despair and agony on me. Do you know how much a dental implant costs? Thirty-five hundred dollars. Do you know how much “cheaper” bridgework costs? Three thousand dollars. How about a crown on the rickety remains of my tooth? Twelve hundred bucks, no guarantee. Do you know what happens when you leave a gaping hole in your jaw instead? Uh, me neither, but I heard something about shifting teeth and, oh, probably a whole-head collapse for all I know.
We have no dental insurance, by the way.
My kind dentist filled in the decrepit tooth with a sturdy temporary filling which brings the tooth to about half its normal height. I have an appointment with an oral surgeon for June 21. You can bet I’m looking forward to that day–about as much as I look forward to having my hand gnawed off by a rabid raccoon. (I have no appointment set for that, yet.)
Even though this was not a great day, I realized that it isn’t the Worst Day Ever. I spent some time while washing dishes thinking about the bad days in my life.
And, although there have been some doozies, including the day a college classmate killed himself, the day my father told me that he was divorcing my mother, the afternoon my husband was fired from a job, the time my dad informed us that he had a fatal brain tumor, the day he died, the moment the doctor told me it was “unlikely” I’d ever get pregnant, the day the birthmother who’d chosen us changed her mind . . . oh, the bad days go on and on. The sick days stand out, too . . . the day after one of my sons had surgery and spent the night screaming in pain, the day I spent vomiting when I had my turn with a stomach virus, the night I spent in an emergency room waiting to have my toe sewn closed, the night my feverish daughter sobbed due to an aching ear.
But, I realized that none of these days have been that bad. None has been The Worst Day Ever. This is both good and bad. Good because I’ve been blessed in so many ways . . . bad because that means that looming somewhere ahead of me is The Worst Day Ever. When I look back at the contenders for that title, I have the benefit of perspective. Sicknesses end. The pain of loss really does fade with time. The birthmother that said, “No,” changed her mind again and said, “Yes.” The doctors turned out to be wrong and I had two pregnancies despite their prognostications.
So, although today was a rotten day and I have a dead tooth in my mouth that will require the spending of vast amounts of cash that we don’t have to spare . . . it could have been worse in so many ways.
I’m not sure if the best is yet to come, but I’m fairly sure the worst is yet to come.
And that is the gift of pessimism speaking, mixed in with a healthy dose of perspective with a tiny dash of optimism.
Do you have a Worst Day Ever? Or are you like me, certain that things can always get worse than they are today?
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Oh, Mel. I feel your pain.
No, I really do. I have three teeth like that, but they still have the nerves.
Dental insurance which pays 50%, isn’t helpful at all when one cannot come up with the other 50%.
Where, oh where is the tooth fairy when you need her?
But things can ALWAYS get worse.
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No, no worst day yet because it has all worked out in the end. I realize that I’m fortunate. Not the least because I’m German and in Germany everyone has medical and dental insurance. These days it’s no longer 100% but still.
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Yes, this is true….things can ALWAYS get worse. True enough that sometimes things could be much better, but at least they aren’t worse. (Ramble much? You ask…)
We all have days like that, where we think along the lines of ‘what else could possibly go wrong?’ Then we grab some perspective and off we go. I hope the best is yet to come, I really do. Thanks for sharing.
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I had a molar like that and the same alternatives. My excellent, pragmatic dentist told me that tooth shifting in mature adultss is a myth and, since we were going to have to wait a few months for healing after the extraction before doing anything maybe I would just decide I didn’t need that tooth.
I worked out that way. I haven’t missed it
yet.
Helpful hint: Have someone along to drive you home afterward. Even with a local, there will be likely be bleeding, and a mouth full of cotton and a side trip to the pharmacy.
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I know how you feel. I desperately need dental work done but I have no insurance and can’t afford it. I always make sure the kids go to the dentist regularly and get any work they need done, but I haven’t been there myself in years… I know when I do go it’s going to be expensive…
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Ouch. (About the tooth and the money.)
I have thought we experienced a worst day ever, the kind that takes years of finally getting it kinda erased from memory and causes you to completely change your life and faith. But I don’t know what lies ahead to test us as well. I had an abcessed tooth when 9 months pregnant with my middle son and have to say it was the worst pain ever- worse than all 3 of my sons’ births combined, and then some.
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The gift of pessimism. That sounds like it would go well with my gift of sarcasm.
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My worst day ever was when our house burned down and things only went downhill from there!
I hope I don’t ever go back to that place of despair.
I choose not to think about what is to come. It will be what it will be 🙂 I hope for the best.
I’m so sorry about your tooth!!
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Mel,
One of my recurring nightmares is that all my teeth rot and fall out of my mouth. That said, my mom called the other day and told me she was having a tooth pulled. Alarmed, I asked if she was getting a crown or something to replace it. She said, “It’s just one tooth, I have plenty more!” Oh. Never thought of it in such an optimistic way. She had the tooth pulled and I can’t even see the gap, and she’s just as happy as a clam.
Anyway, I hope it doesn’t hurt too much and I liked your perspective on the whole thing.
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So… did they give you a quote for the total amount of damage they’ll do to your pocket book?
🙂
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If I do have a worst day ever, it probably has something to do with dentists. 😉
No, like you I feel very blessed, but that does cause me to feel a certain angst because I wonder when it will be “my turn” to experience tragedy. My worst day ever is still yet to come.
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Hi Mel…. Argh…. dental problems! I’ve so been there, done that. Just wanted to say that 15 years ago I had a lower molar pulled and everything has been fine. No problem. No collapse. 🙂 Not even a lot of pain to have it pulled. In fact, I’ve had all my wisdom teeth pulled (the last one just months ago… also not a big deal), not to mention the permanent tooth I had pulled at 12 because my mouth was too crowded. All of that is to say it’s not the end of the world and there are other things which hurt much worse…. Hope that helps! Blessings, Debra
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My husband has a hole at the back of his mouth from the days when we couldn’t afford anything more than an extraction. He says he’s used to it now. As long as it doesn’t get infected it doesn’t seem to be a problem.
I think it could always get worse, and then I let the ways that it could get worse pile up on top of me and it gets me more depressed. I am a classic pessimist often.
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I never thought of it that way. Now I know I still have a worst day ever to have.
I’d go with the tooth removal and leave it at that…
I once had a filling and they didn’t get all the infection out before filling it. I ended up really ill with lockjaw. Don’t you hate it when people tell you horror dentist stories right before you have work done.
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i just had to have a molar pulled on Friday. It was not a good time. it was dead and they could not guarantee me that a root canal could even save the tooth. so I had her pull it. and an implant for me, she said would be 4 thousand dollars. yeah, not gonna happen. it’s weird having a hole in your mouth like that, though!
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My son was born without 6 permanent teeth. He has had braces and still has some of his baby teeth in his mouth. They tell us he will need implants, ONLY 4 OF THEM…..dental insurance my foot, as I understand our policy it doesn’t pay for implants. We’re going to hang onto those baby teeth for now and forgo the huge amount of debt it would put us in for FOUR IMPLANTS…..besides, in one year he will need college money….then he can get a big degree, a great job, and pay for his own 🙂
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Oh Mel! My daughter just went through a horrid experience with a dying root in a molar. They pulled it. She has no insurance at all, being a student. I couldn’t come up with that kind of money either. This sounds gross, but I have 4 missing teeth. I don’t miss them. I acutally got a bridge once because I thought I would look “better”. Relative term, better. I may have looked better, but the bridge hurt to wear, so I never wore it and it won’t fit now. Oh well. But think of the books I could have gotten with that money…
The worst day ever? Not yet. For as bad as things get, I think they could always get worse. And I’m a pessimist!
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hmm, i must be in the minority. I DID get the implant when it was recommended to me. It was expensive but the dentists (actually, it’s not your dentist who will do this, it is a, hmm, starts with a p, it’s been so long I forget) anyway, they realize not many people have thousands of dollars laying around waiting to use so they all have payment plans. I have a great one in NH if you want to add to the cost by flying out to, in my opinion, one of the best.
I feel like that was money well spent and there is not a day that I am sorry. and in case you are wondering, no, we don’t have money to burn. It was just important to me.
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Mel–
I have fortunately never had to have anything done to my teeth besides sealants and cleanings. I have recently found out that both of my lower far back molars have small “cavities” in them. With insurance, my cost is $25/each. I can’t afford that.
However, I know your frustration about insurance and such. My son was born with a cleft lip/palate. When he was four months old, they told us he would likely require at least FOUR dental implants. (You have a choice, Ms. Hyatt–Mercedes-Benz, or your son can have a normal smile–they’ll cost about the same amount…I drive a cheesy old minivan…but it moves 🙂
And I know the feeling about starting to think that this is the worst day of your life only to look back and realize that it is not, and neither are any of the other days that you once awarded that sad title. Perhaps, I’m a bit more of an optimist. I figure once I get to that point, hope is floating up. I love that feeling, when hope comes floating up.
I love reading your blogs (both of them). Keep it up! You amaze me!
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