I’ve talked about this before, but . . . oh, how I hate trying to teach my children composition. Writing comes as naturally to me as breathing. I compose sentences and paragraphs in my head. I sit down at the keyboard and phrases appear as if by magic on the screen, directly from my brain without even pausing in my fingertips. I can’t stop writing and my boys can’t begin.
I wonder if they really think in the limited vocabulary that appears on the page when I ask them to write something. Do they notice any details as they careen through life? Do they have an interior life in which they actually contemplate things and consider ideas?
For this assignment, they were to write a “compare and contrast” essay. I suggested the topic: comparing school at home with public school (because they couldn’t even come up with a topic–they acted as if I demanded that they come up with a solution to the unrest in the Middle East or solve the mystery of orphan socks or to create a new color for Crayola). Doesn’t that topic I suggested sound easy?
They did all the pre-writing, had their points lined up in columns. Then, they committed words to paper and again, the question came up: does one sentence make a paragraph? Oh no, it does not, if you are a 13-year old boy. (You must know the rules and be able to follow the rules before you are allowed to break the rules.) Today they were to proofread and polish their work.
Here are the final two sentences as written by my Reluctant Student:
“Woke up time what you eat and how fast you go but. You learn in both and accomplish in both.”
That was after he proofread and polished. Oh, my aching head. And how about this paragraph/sentence by my other student:
“For example when I went to public school I had to get up really early to get ready now I can sleep in to a later time.”
When I suggest that details would, perhaps, be required, my students react with astonishment and horror. When I point out that a sentence fragment is, perhaps, nonsensical at best, my students respond with the defensiveness of a politician caught with a mouthful of lies. By the time I am frothing at the mouth, shouting, declaring my superior writing skills and yanking at my hair, they are falling to the floor and crawling under the table to escape my frustration. Really, one prone on the floor and one hiding under the table.
Oh, yes, I am a very effective teacher of composition. And Mother of the Year. Ha ha ha.
So, what a day full of frustration. Tomorrow, no more composition. I’m going to have to work up the courage (and possibly get a prescription for muscle-relaxers or hallucinogenics or both) before we tackle the next composition assignment, a persuasive essay dealing with United States history after the Civil War but before the Great War. Tomorrow, we focus on reaching our required percentages of completion for all subjects before February ends (lots of grammar, a little science, some history and a touch more literature).
Or die trying.
Note to self: Never become a junior high composition teacher.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
I hear you, Mel. We’re in the same boat, both homeschooling and using K12. We struggle with composition here too. It always amazes me what they think is a coherent sentence! And math, don’t get me started there!!! I don’t know if it’s because I have a hormonal pre-teen or some other issue, but I think a valium prescription is in order….for me or for her…maybe both!
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Oooooh, I hate that part of homeschooling. I mean, they talk in complete sentances (most of the time), They spend enough time waxing poetic on video games, TV shows, and sports, so why can’t they just translate it to paper? IS that such a tough thing to ask?
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Might the problem be the curriculum you are using is not working for them? I think I mentioned the Gretchen Courtney (sp?) method to you before. I have seen it work wonders with relunctant writers? I think you have tried a few methods though.
Sometimes too, the thing we excel the most in is the hardest to teach to others – especially when the talent seems to come to us naturally. It’s hard to break it down when it just happens in your own head.
Good luck with it.
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As the mother/teacher of an 11 yr. old boy, this is hilarious. And I mean that in the most empathetic way possible. My son is thrilled that he’s broken his right arm because – no writing! Why do I always feel as if I am in some desperate auction for words? “How about 5 words for a sentence?”
“No, you have to add more details and maybe a verb.” “Okay, 5 words and a verb.” Do I hear 6 words, a verb and an adjective? No? Sold for 5 words and a verb.
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Oh. My. Goodness. Are you sure you didn’t watch my homeschool writing sessions last year? The Boy was the same way. He’d do math and schience all day long, cite grammer rules back to me, but couldn’t seem to write a coherent sentence.
For his big research project, a dear friend spent the day with him reviewing his (2nd or 3rd) rough draft. (I was out of town and his dad was working). The change in the final product was incredible. I think he was just more willing to listen to and absorb her comments than if I said the exact same thing!
This year, back in public school, he’s so much further along than most of his classmates. Do I know he is able to do better? Yes, but he’s learning, and he’s starting to enjoy it a little!
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Try this.
No video games unless you both can write an essay on why you should be allowed to play them.
Let them compare and contrast THAT until it satisfies you!
Allow extra game time for the use of words larger than six letters.
(I still remember a little bit of ‘middle school boy’ language.)
My youngest son wrote almost every middle school paper about the Detroit Tigers. He could find a way to figure them into anything.
He has scored a few A’s on philosophy papers, so they DO eventually learn.
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Reading the others comments, along with your blog makes me feel so much better. I’m right there rowing in the same boat you are – my 10 year old daughter’s composition just seems flat and unimaginative. I stuggle with ways to make it come alive for her like it did for me. I have loved reading and writing since I was in second grade — why, oh why, can’t she???
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ITA! I don’t homeschool, but writing comes easily to me. DH teaches high school. In the past he’s taught math and science and had the students write a paper on a mathematician or scientist. It’s AMAZING how horrible their grammar and composition skills are! UGH! It may seem you’re teaching these things in vain, but keep persevering!
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Mel, you sound like my mom, in a good way. She is so good at writing and I was terrible. Part of it was I had a type of dyslexia where I would write the end of the paper or essay first and then try to some how write the rest of it. How I got past it no clue? But my mother was ripping her hair out whenever I had grammar stuff. WHat I think helped me was reading it out loud to myself, so I could see the mistakes I had made. I can talk to a blue streak, very eleoquently(sp?) but could not write it out. So i think I used to talk about it then write it. Then it started to get easier. When I talked it then helped me get it in order and sound nice. I would literallly go sentence by sentence. Maybe this will help.
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Don’t think that the public school system does a better job than you did – I just got finished helping a coworker judge an essay contest for her civic group, and these (HIGH SCHOOL!) kids were just awful. Most of them didn’t even follow the theme correctly!
So, don’t be to hard on yourself. It seems like ALL teachers are having a hard time teaching their charges.
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You should see some of the stuff my husband’s college students turn in. Scary!
I bow low in reverence to anyone who would even try to teach writing.
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I know your frustration!
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You know that we’re-not-worthy bow people do? I’m trying to do that while I type. (It’s harder than you think!) I seriously don’t know how you do it.
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I think that one of the things that would be hard about school at home, is the fact that you don’t see what the other kids at this level are doing.
I don’t do school at home, but I help with writing assignments from school. Sometimes I expect my girls to write like adults. It helps when I volunteer at school, and see what the other kids are turning in. I don’t want to lower my standards, but it helps to bring my expectations to a reasonable level.
It doesn’t sound easy, but I think you will do a great job…and I don’t even think you will die trying…;)
Someday they will realize all you did for them, and appreciate it. I really believe that.
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“Note to self: Never become a junior high composition teacher.”
You got that right.
Many of my 9th graders (technically high school) are worse than your boys… who with your natural talent and charisma will get better… my student’s parents think I am picking on their children when I point out those same problems. Doesn’t make you a bad mother, makes you a good teacher!
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How boring would life be if our children all possessed our same gifts? Nope, they have to be different just so we stay challenged.
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Today I was almost screaming in frustration because my 5 year old, who is learning to read, refuses to say a word outloud until he understands it. I know he knows the right answer but he won’t say it because he’s afraid to get it wrong and he wants to be certain first. AARRGGGHHH!!!! It takes forever to finish a lesson on days like that and he gets so discouraged.
So I’m in for more days like this, is that what you’re saying?
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Oh boy, doesn’t sound like much fun to me! But if anyone can accomplish this – you can!
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I have 3 kids. One with no imagination, just logic. I remember when he simply could NOT write a composition, so his teacher told him to work in facts he loved. This was after staying all luchtime because he had not written a word in class. So a Day on the Beach became a story of the life cycle of a starfish. He just had to make a connection to fact in his brain, and he could do it. My daughter was all imagination, and little logic, so would prattle on in stories that became epics.
Try it…. maybe the history one will work better!
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I have all the respect in the world for you, Mel. My 5th grader makes me grind my teeth sometimes when I read his writing. He has his SOL (Standard of Learning) tests for writing next week and I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. Him? Cool as the other side of the pillow. Where did this laid back human COME from? I am as high strung as they come and DH isn’t exactly C A L M. My mom says he doesn’t get excited cause I do it for him…..
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6 + 1 Traits of Writing is a great resource – you can get it through scholastic – and the NW Regional Educational Library has a website: nwrel.org
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Mel – my post on children is up if you want to read it. Yours started me thinking! (And yes re the funeral bit. I have it all sorted, down to the fact that the eulogy is to be no longer than 2 mins. “She was a woman. She made mistakes, but she tried to make a difference. Now go and have a party.”)
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