Won’t you be my neighbor?

I wish Judy were my neighbor.  Read this and you’ll understand: 

Another book idea. This one is for children. It’s to be called “This Is Mom”. In it, the child will follow what ‘mom’ does all day. I’m getting sick and tired of books about what the child does all day. One page will be “This is mom eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with you. She loves you, but she hates peanut butter and jelly and can’t wait for you to take your nap so she can eat the M&M’s she has hidden away. Although, she has to eat them on the run, or she will not have the dishes washed, laundry going or dinner started before you wake up, requiring a diaper change.” That particular page COULD have an element of ‘scratch and sniff’, I’m not sure about that yet…

That just cracked me up!

In other news, today I was sitting at my computer “working” (or reading blogs or checking email, who knows?) and I heard my 4-year old daughter screaming upstairs:  “I DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN!  I DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN!”  She repeated this several times which could only mean one thing:  one of her 13-year old brothers had wandered upstairs and was torturing her by telling her she has a brain.  For several months, she has insisted that boys have brains and girls have hearts.  (Leading to the inverse truth:  boys do not have hearts; girls do not have brains.)  We cannot tell her otherwise and so, this particular brother delights in teasing her by saying (out of the blue), “Hey, Gracie, do you have a brain?” and then she yells, “I DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN!” 

He finds this funny.

I find this annoying because I am in dire need of peace and quiet and deliberately provoking a four-year old to shriek does not promote household harmony. 

(And now, 3 p.m. on the dot and doorbell rings.  The first neighborhood kid of the day has arrived.  I can’t wait until summer gets here and I can shoo all the kids outdoors all afternoon.  I’ll even throw in two dozen popsicles, a small price to pay for silence.)

10 thoughts on “Won’t you be my neighbor?

  1. Mel, I can SO relate to your blogging about kids! I’m a work at home/stay at home mom to two teenage boys and a 10yr old girl, and somedays I think you must be living at my house. It makes me feel not-so-crazy to know I’m not alone! Thanks for sharing!


  2. Like my boys telling their younger brother he was really a girl, we just changed the “papers” at the hospital to say boy….. Nice way to have the “boys are different from girls” talk too early.


  3. I wish Judy was my next door neighbor, too, Mel. It was thru a link to her site you posted a year ago that I made my way over to her site and I’ve been hooked ever since. She has become one of my dearest friends EVER!! So I thank you, and I hope others follow this link to her, too. They’ll never regret it.


  4. Oh, Mel. You are SO kind!

    When my youngest son saw the PBS special “Conrad” he thought that he, too, was an ‘instant child’. All the older two had to do was say ‘instant child’ and the kid would flip out. So, of course, they said it ALL the time. At the age of 22 he admits to still getting a creepy feeling in the pit of his stomach if someone even mentions that show.


  5. My sister used to do the same exact stuff to me. I hated it. It just wasn’t fair since she was so much older than me.

    Waaaah! I’m adding my whining to the chorus!


  6. After I read this I laughed so loud my family had to come and find out what mom was cackling about. Thank you! I needed a laugh. I am a mom of 7 ages 16 to 5. I felt so much at home with this story!
    This is my first ever comment on a blog. I have just entered the blogging world.
    Thank you for your open and honest veiw of life.


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