I am deeply uncool. Tragically unhip. Which explains why I had to use the “closed captioning” feature of the television last night while watching the Grammy award show.
There I am, listening carefully, trying to understand . . . “rocks and . . . red light” . . . what? So, that’s when I turned on closed captioning and saw that the song was about Roxanne . . . . put on the red light . . . Roxanne . . . put on the red light . . . Roxanne . . . put on the red light . . . Roxanne . . . put on the red light. Which still made absolutely no sense to me. I am out of touch with coolness. (I read the lyrics now and understand. But still.)
I did however totally love Corinne Bailey Rae. And I thought Carrie Underwood was lovely and sang beautifully. See? I like singers who sing words that are intelligible and comprehensible. I’m a fuddy duddy.
* * *
I saw two teenage boys step off a city bus the other day wearing the tightest “skinny” jeans I’ve seen on a boy since I was in college back in the eighties. They couldn’t have been any more form fitting if they were tights. And so the fashion swings back from “loose and baggy” to “leaving nothing to the imagination.” I’m glad my teenagers are as uncool as I am . . . they can’t be bothered to understand what is cool and what is uncool. They are too busy playing war in the back yard with Nerf guns.
* * *
Do you close your eyes at the dentist? I leave mine wide open, staring up the nostrils of the dentist and his assistant. Or gazing into the glaring light or studying the ceiling. I’m sort of afraid I’ll fall asleep if I close my eyes.
So, what about you? Eyes open or closed?
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Updated to say two things:
1) Yes, two of you have noticed that not only am I tragically unhip now, but I was also equally unhip twenty years ago when The Police first recorded that ridiculous “Rocks and” (okay, “Roxanne”) song. Hey! I went to Bible College, you know, and secular music was Of The Devil, you know. I would never have listened to it. (Unless it was Dan Fogelberg.) So, you caught me. I was uncool then and I’m uncool now.
2) Okay, I took poetic license. My dentist–a really gentle, kind guy–and his assistant both wear masks. I couldn’t have seen up their nostrils if I had tried. I did study the assistant’s eyelids and envied her unsaggy lids–she’s quite a bit older than me (grown kids and close to retirement), but yet, her lids aren’t all droopy like mine.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Oh, so THAT’S what they were singing! I never once thought of putting on the closed captioning. Great idea. Thanks!
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I use closed captioning for almost everything but I skipped the grammy awards. Figured I could read all about it today without listening to what passes for music these days.
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I tell myself all the time how uncool I really and truly am. And that’s okay.
I close my eyes in the dental chair and just try to relax. Dental work doens’t really bug me.
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I fold my hands on top of my waist and close my eyes. My dentist is great about giving a soothing dialog on what he’s about to do and how much is left to do, so I’m almost able to relax when I’m not wondering what would happen if I had to sneeze.
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Grammy’s? What’s that? Seriously though, I usually never watch the awards show…no patience. I’ll read about it later, or see the snippets on the morning news show. (I am so uncool that I live in the fantasy world that I _could_ be cool, *if* I wanted to be…ha!)
Eyes open sometimes, closed sometimes. Really depends on what is going on (to me) at the time. Our dental staff were masks and eye protection, so were not looking up at hairy noses or worse (ones full of boogies!).
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Not only are you un-hip, but you were un-hip 20-25 years ago when The Police were actually doing their thang! heh “Roxanne” is pretty old. But that’s okay; you didn’t miss much.
I *always* close my eyes at the dentist, and I *try* to fall asleep. I figure I get so little opportunity for rest otherwise. LOL
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So, I know the song well and I think the closed captioning people got it wrong. It’s “you don’t have to put on the red light.” It’s about a guy telling a prostitute that she doesn’t have to be one any more “You don’t have to sell your body to the night.”
I close my eyes all the time at the dentist. I can’t stand the dentist and if I don’t have to see it, I don’t want to.
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I close my eyes while at the dentist. When I was a teen I watched my own root canal in the reflection on the dentist’s glasses, but now watching makes me queasy!
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I’m crazy about Fogelberg (John Denver, too), very uncool, and I stare straight ahead or at CNN on the TV at the dentist. (Yes, my dentist is cool–he has little tv’s in every room.) And why is it that the hygenist always asks you questions while they have at least 5 instruments poking and prodding around in your mouth? Just tell me that.
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That totally cracked me up about rocks and red light!
I’m a Corrine Bailey Rae fan too, and loved the song montage with her, John Legend and John Mayer. Carrie Underwood can absolutely sing!!!
Dentist? Eye tight, hand firmly sqeezing the life out of a kleenex, while under my legs so I don’t reach up and tap the dentist on the head when he accidently hurts me! lol.
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I have resigned myself to the fact that I never was cool nor ever will be. But that not striving for coolness in any way is way cooler than trying to be somebody I’m not. And I console myself with the Terry Pratchett quote about the monks of cool. They have an exam or somesuch where a novice is brought into a vast room with clothes and is asked what the cool thing to wear is and the correct answer is, “Yo man, whatever I choose.”
Eyes open at the dentist.
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Eyes closed, trying to be relaxed.
Not even trying to be hip most of the time.
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I don’t know if we can be friends. You insulted The Police. I am deeply hurt.
I was just IMing with a friend about the Police tour! I would pay a lot of money for tickets to that show. A lot.
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Never do I close my eyes. Not during the five hours of oral surgery I had (why did I decide not to be put under again?). Not during the four years of monthly orthodontic visits. And not during dental visits either.
I have a thing with closing my eyes in front of strangers who are in close proximity to me. So that means no napping on bus or plane rides either. So a red eye is just that for me. đŸ™‚
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I love Corinne Bailey Rae! I did a show with her a few months ago and it was one of the few times I actually got excited about ‘working’. Of course as it turns out, she was perfectly lovely and her road crew was a complete nightmare to deal with. In fact I actually told her road manager that he was luck I was such I big fan because he was being a major pain in my butt and I had just about had enough.
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ha! must admit, I also thought ‘how come you did not know the words to Roxanne the first time round’…then I worked out that you must be about 10 years younger than me (hope that helps :))
I was still a heathen, though, back in the late 70’s, who thought I was a Christian
(Loved Dan Fogelberg then, love him now – I have 2 of his songs on my Windows Media Player from the other day).
It IS really cool to like Corrine Bailey Rae, and I have discovered, recently, that I do…whereas my 17 and 14 year old are very uncool đŸ™‚ they hardly know about her.
we had the Brits here recently, must be like your Grammys. She was on that, but Amy Winehouse won best female…sort of 60’s sounding jazzy stuff would you believe?
It’s getting easier to be really cool I think as the clock is going back again for some trends, thankfully.
LOVE your Blog. So many things you say happen to me too, I was beginning to think you were me till I worked out your age đŸ™‚
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