A Message for Alma, the Fairy of Delightful Comments and Vicious Judgments and No Sense at All

What this blog needs is a little drama.  And so I offer “alma’s” comment on this post from 2005.  As you can see, I felt like leaving “alma” a little comment of my own since her email address was fake and I wasn’t able to email her directly.  Seriously, what kind of moron leaves comments like that on a perfect stranger’s blog?  I’ll tell you what kind:  a coward.  I can’t stand a coward.  If you want to insult me, at the very least, leave me your actual email address and your blog address and, what the heck, your social security number. 

So, last night, the face-numbing drugs finally wore off at about 7:30 p.m. . . . at the moment I realized I had sensation in my face again, I was in a racquetball court with my 4-year old daughter who thought that throwing the ball and then flinging her body to the floor was the very pinnacle of hilarity.  I played my own private game of keep-away . . . whenever I got my hands on the ball, I hit it to the wall until she’d grab it again.  We only stayed in that room for twenty minutes–the rest of the hour we pranced around the track, drank from the drinking fountain, watched kids swimming in the pool before we sat down to watch the last fifteen minutes of Judo. 

When my daughter sits on my lap, her fuzzy curls are right in my face and if I move to one side, she moves that way, too.  If I move to the other, she veers.  Then she wiggles and squirms and leans and frankly, it’s very unpleasant as she is not a cuddly, still child.  So, I did not enjoy holding her bony butt as I perched on the hard metal bench while she threw herself toward the floor, depending on me to stop her from cracking her skull open.

However, we were home before the college championship football game was over, so I was able to catch the last minutes of Florida State wiping up the floor with Ohio, which was rather delightful because our youth pastor (who is from Ohio) has been insufferable all fall as he’s boasted about his team.  I think I speak for many of us when I say that we look forward to harassing Jeremy and taunting him with the same measure of venom that he has taunted us (and when I say “us”, I mean a random collection of us, we know who we are).  All in good fun!  Gotta root for the underdog, you know.  (GO BOISE!)  Most of you are looking around wondering what I’m talking about.  Okay, moving away from football and onto other topics.

Uh, other topics. 

Let’s see. 

Weather:  We had a storm today, one of those blustery, rain-beating-sideways, cold, please-trees-don’t-fall kind of storms.  The stars are visible tonight, but supposedly, snow is falling somewhere in this area (but not at my house) and then tomorrow, our high temperature is supposed to be thirty.  Which is cold for those of us with webbed toes who live in the rainy Pacific Northwest. 

Television shows:  Only five days until “24” starts!  “Apprentice” . . . how annoying is that Frank guy?  Will “The View” survive the Rosie/Trump/Barbara Walters debacle? 

Today’s lunch:  Canned tuna.  Triscuits with melted cheese.  Walnuts.  Orange.  Diet Coke.

Reading:  Pat Conroy’s Prince of Tides.  (For the second time.)

Last movie seen:  “Children of Men.”  Disappointing, but I ordered the P.D. James book to read, hoping to redeem the experience. 

Tolerance for anonymous commenters:  Zero.

What I did today:  Oversaw math, grammar, literature, history, science, art lessons.  Babysat two kids.  Answered a ton of email (except for those who don’t leave an address, YES, I MEAN YOU, ALMA).  Washed laundry.  Dried laundry.  Cooked dinner (chicken, roasted potatoes, roasted sweet potatoes).  Exercised 45 minutes.  Shopped for groceries.

People I like:  Everyone but “alma,” Osama bin Laden and Borat. 

What I’m wearing:  Ralph Lauren khaki-colored denim pants, long-sleeve t-shirt with tiny black, brown and khaki stripes.  Tan sweater from Lands End. 

Why I allow stupid comments on this blog:  I must be bored.  Also, sometimes I like to provoke people who sit in judgment of me because oddly, I find those dimwitted people amusing to watch when they realize they just threw a rock at the wrong target.  And, also, this is a fair and balanced blog where we offer the opposition a chance to make fools of themselves at no extra charge. 

21 thoughts on “A Message for Alma, the Fairy of Delightful Comments and Vicious Judgments and No Sense at All

  1. Well, it’s 2007 and trolls are still trolls… somehow, I had hoped that trolls would all vanish off the Internets as soon as 2007 hit.
    Oh, well. And you’re right, Alma is the jerk in this situation.
    (We’re still waiting for snow in Portland.)

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  2. 24!!!!!! can NOT wait!!!
    also, saw Children of Men, you are a more balanced woman than I, for even wanting to read the book, I do not want to!
    Apprentice, Frank? what a loud mouth. watch him win!

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  3. Hubby can’t wait for 24 (I can defintely go a lifetime without hearing the beep beep of the clock.) I am SO done with the Trump/Rosie thing! AH- someone end it please! ; )

    I had never read your post with the infamous Alma comment. It wrenched at my heart. You tried so hard and gave so many chances. I commend you for how much you did reach out to her. I hope someday your relationship is healed and past forgotten & forgiven, and I totally understand that the next reaching out is going to have to be from your sister reaching out to you.

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  4. “Children of Men.” Disappointing, but I ordered the P.D. James book to read, hoping to redeem the experience.

    I rather doubt that you’ll love the book either. She should stick to her mysterious whodunits.

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  5. I like Pat Conroy too and have ever since I read “The Water is Wide”.

    I’ve been lucky with trolls and have had only one so far. I let the comment stand and wrote an entire post around it.

    It was only two words but they were ugly.

    And anonymous of course.

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  6. Totally off topic, I know, but since the email link on your page isn’t working for me today…. Do you mind me adding you to my blogroll? I’m new at this still, and I don’t have readers to my knowledge, but hey! I’m trying. lol I wanted to be as polite as possible about it, especially since I really enjoy reading your blog.
    Vida

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  7. My son does the same thing when he’s on my lap and it drives me nuts!! Be still child! I seldom leave comments, but I do read faithfully. You make me laugh everyday! By the way, I picked up the First mag last night! Props to you!!

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  8. Hey! I’m FROM Boise! I graduated from Boise State!! Go Broncos! woohoo

    And I get the whole thing with your sister, completely. I am in a similar situation with my sister. She is 9 years older than I am and lives in Australia. Too many emotional encounters to retell here. But I “get it”.
    Hang in there. Some people (ahem – Alma) have way too much free time on their hands. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and all that.

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  9. Ok Mel, I was going to email you but there is a error message. I’ll check back later to see if its fixed. I don’t have anything new under the sun to say but its nice to know that your not alone in your thoughts or feelings.

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  10. I LOVE that this is a fair and balanced blog! It certainly opens up the lines of communication.

    I know Jesus tells me I’m SUPPOSED to love people like ‘alma’ and ‘anonymous’ (from the same post — and I think they’re the same person, commenting a year apart b/c they were mad they didn’t get your goat the first time — and, with justine, I wonder if alma and ‘joy’ are the same person). But I will have to work on that…

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  11. I remember that horrible Alma comment. (have I really been reading your blog that long? Incredible.) I second the opinion that she and your sister could be one and the same.

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  12. Some people seem to get some kind of thrill from being trolls. Maybe they think that if they can upset someone they will feel significant. Maybe they search through blogs looking for someone who even vaguely reminds them of someone they are mad at and then channel that anger toward the hapless blogger. Whatever.

    I recently had to turn comment moderation on for just this reason.

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  13. oh no….why was “Children of Men” a bummer? I LOVE (ADORE…) Clive Owens and I ate that book up. So I was hoping the two would be good together. Tonight I am taking my 18 year old to see Casino Royale…

    🙂

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  14. Oh my. Why would you want to stir that up? Twice?

    I don’t have a good relationship with my sister either, but I don’t think I could be so clear in my account of our interactions. Isn’t that back-biting? And aren’t you a pastor’s wife? I’m just askin’.

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  15. What the HELL kind of a name is ALMA anyway? It’s ugly, just like her coward-ASS attitude & pathetic ‘hide&seek’ comments. Hey Al, cuz you must look like a man with a name like that, why not come out & OWN YOUR WORDS! See that, wow look at me, I called you an ugly coward-ASS named AL, and you know what? I WANT credit for the ability to speak my mind… you on the other hand run, & hide. LOL So sad, so so SOOOOOOOOOOOO sad. Poor Al, he must be off drinking himself into oblivian courtesy of some fairly cheap if not free wine in a BOX!

    Mel, don’t you worry bout a thing woman, you rock my world & I love your blog, despite the ‘Al’s’ of the blogosphere!

    -Amy & Ruby Cate

    NOT HIDING!

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  16. Hi. I’m sure some Gator fan will point out that it was Florida, not Florida State that won! I know, I’m from Tallahassee! Jackie

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  17. Have been reading you off and on through larger families- it’s what brought me here today.

    I’ll have to hunt down the Alma post- I’m intrigued now…but without even reading I would have to say right outloud COWARD and also the fairly obvious- if you don’t like what you are reading Take a Hike! And that’s about it! 🙂

    I’m fairly new to this whole blogging thing, but isn’t all about free expression?

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  18. Ooops, I forgot, distracted by Alma, I guess.

    Love, love, love, Pat Conroy. My two favorites of his? Not that you asked but, Prince of Tides and Beach Music, both fabulous!

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  19. Hi Mel,
    Trolls and anonymous commenters are the one downside to blogging. Thankfully I’ve only had one really bad experience which just about did me in. Interesting Alma would pick such an old post to spread her venom isn’t it? Sounds like she’s been around for a while. (or did you just link back to what happened a long time ago)?

    Like

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