A letter to a most despicable dunderhead.

I Amuse Myself, Stupidity 1 Minute

Dear Damnable Defacer,

How dare you? In the darkling dusk, you dragged a dart-like device across my Disco van.

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Did you dash away after your dastardly deed? Are you dense? Daft? Devious? I dabbed at the disfigurement, disturbing the dust, but the destruction didn’t disappear. A deadbeat like you deserves a dropkick into the depths of hell, detouring around the Day of Judgment.

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You, dear decerebrate, define degeneration. I decry your decided decrepitude and decree that you shall receive a decupling of defecation upon your dirty, dirty, downtrodden, deformed dodo-head. I despise you. I deplore you. I hope a dump-truck lands on you and that your dirty sins haunt you forever.

Drop dead, you dull-witted dunce. May you suffer from dyspareunia daily.

With Deep Loathing,

Disco-Van Driver (who wasn’t even parked over the line, you idiot)

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Published by Mel

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23 thoughts on “A letter to a most despicable dunderhead.”

  1. What a drag. What an absolute drag. I’ve had that happen to me. I wasn’t even over the line either! I’ve also watched with my own two eyes a driver pull into a parking place and cut it a little too wide. He hit the back fender of the car next to him with his front fender and instead of backing up and trying again, he just pushed his way in, scraping all the way. Who do people DO stuff like that??
    ~Mariah~
    PS Note the new email address. My new blog isn’t nearly as interesting or well written as yours, but I’m having fun!

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  3. We just saw an SUV the other day that was keyed badly. I explained to my kids (12, 9) what happened in my most firm mom voice, and I told them I never wanted to hear that they did something so horrible to someone else’s property. I explained what that meant in terms of repainting the car and money and all that and told them if they are that angry (or stupid) to do that to someone’s car, they will suffer MY wrath too.
    3 minutes of someone’s stupidity will cause you hours and possibly days of inconvenience and probably lots of money.

    GRRRRRR.
    Karen

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  4. Ughhh! I know your furry. Some idiot apparrently needed an obscene amount of room to exit their car. Hence, the caverness dent in the passenger side of my 4 mo. old honda crv. Bastards.

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  5. Well… it will be fully covered by your insurance though – and you’ll probably get a loaner car in the meantime.

    (doesn’t help much though does it? Sorry.)

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  6. Why, that CREEP!

    Bad enough that you can get bajillions of little dents in the side of your car from runaway carts in the grocery store parking lot (people are so lazy, they won’t even put them in the “cart return” eight feet away)…but when someone maliciously damages a car ON PURPOSE, that just fries me!

    My mom always told the four of us that there was a special place in Hell reserved for people who were deliberately mean. That guy’s name just went onto the Reservation List.

    On the other hand, the very first time I drove my parents’ car after getting my driver’s license, someone dented the door. I came out of the grocery store and burst into tears when I saw what had happened. But, lo and behold, there was an apologetic note under the windshield wiper, giving me a phone number to call! My parents opted not to get the dent fixed, telling the teenager who had owned up to the damage that her honesty in the situation was worth more than a smooth door.

    I’ve always been impressed by that response. And of course, every time I drove that car for the next ten years, that dent reinforced the lesson learned!

    Your upset and angry reaction to the keying of your car probably made an even more effective lesson than Karen’s reaction, but kudos to Karen for seizing the moment!

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  9. This practise is usually reserved for those who can’t park ,take up more than one space, are over the line or just plain can’t drive. I’d guess that you fall into one of the catagories listed above?

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  11. Ooooooo! That kind of person makes me soooo mad! I’m sorry this happened to you. Blogs are a nice place to blow off steam though aren’t they! I had a little (yet expensive) car accident this last week, so I know how you feel. At least the person didn’t run and hide. I let off some steam over at Tip of the Iceberg.

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  14. I think it may have something to do with bigger vehicles. You know, the evironmental protectors out there who think that driving big vehicles is bad for the earth, and they’re doing a good deed by defacing them, I guess.

    That’s aggravating for sure. I haven’t had that happen, but recently vandals hit my house and tagged my garage door. My first instinct was to be angry and full of rage too, but thinking about the person that did that, i had to wonder what kind of life that person had to be doing the things he was doing (assuming it was a male.) I ended up praying for the kid instead, and it felt better than being mad.

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  15. OMG on the comment saying keying is reserved for those who can’t drive, or park in between the lines. WTF is wrong with her? It’s destruction of personal property and it is a hateful, cowardly thing to do. Sorry that happened to you. A number of years ago I was going to park in a space and a young mother with 2 little kids had left her door open on one side so I couldn’t park. I rolled down my window and indicated I wanted to park and she gave me the finger and let out a string of obscenities. I went into the store and after shopping came back to my entire car being keyed. It felt a little like being robbed. There is no good excuse to do something like that.

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  16. Sorry you’re having to deal with this right now. I dont care if you were taking up three parking spaces that still doesnt give someone else the right to damage your property.

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  17. In response to the parking police above, I don’t care if you were parked crosswise across 5 spaces, keying is NEVER ok. What’s with people thinking that if you do something to tick them off, it’s ok for them to do something worse? I just don’t get it.

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  19. “This practise is usually reserved for those who can’t park ,take up more than one space, are over the line or just plain can’t drive. I’d guess that you fall into one of the catagories listed above?”

    The person that posted that is an ass. There is NEVER, EVER a reason to damage another persons car. Ever. Wherever they live (under a rock?) must be a sad place if that is acceptable in their area.

    (And apparently wherever they are from, they can’t spell and do not know the proper use of spaces.)

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  20. Well, there is just never an excuse to vandalize someone’s vehicle.

    As a person who might be categorized by some as an “environmental protector” I would never advocate something like that.

    You were very clearly within the lines, so the person was just a jerk.

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  21. What a horrible thing for someone to do! I once accidently ran a cart into someone’s truck, scratching it about a inch in the process. I took down the liecense and went inside the store and had them call the number and make of vehicle over the loud speaker. I waited and waited for someone to come but no one did. Finally the lady at the front desk told me to put my information under the wiper. I went out but they were gone. It looked like a old farm truck but none the less, I felt so horrible. My only comfort was that I did what I could.

    That said, why do people put “WTF” on a pastors wife blog? What happened to kind language? It’s not the first time I have seen it on Mel’s blog. Isn’t cursing considered unclassy anymore? Are we not ladies here?

    Mrs. Garcia

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