My daughter thought 6:12 a.m. was a fine time to wake up. I thought not, so I rocked her for two minutes and put her back to bed. I think she woke up because she was cold. She was cold because she refused a blanket last night because she is four years old and very silly.
She also plays in the backyard without a jacket, even when it’s less than fifty degrees. How a child with absolute no body fat can stand the chill is a mystery I have yet to solve, but perhaps it has to do with her constant motion. She is a child who cannot be still.
My other children were so easy to distract with the magic hynoptist, the television set. She has no favorite show, though she does watch Spongebob every night before falling asleep. I can’t depend on any show to catch her attention during the day. My boys were a different story–turn on the television and they’d go into a trance when they were young.
When my daughter takes off her clothes, she is careful to take remove them without turning them inside out. Then she lays them out on the floor, smoothing them flat and straight. She even does this with socks and underpants, which is an endearing quirk. (I also make sure my clothes are not turned inside out when I remove them. What? Doesn’t everybody?)
I love to call her “sweetie pie” and “baby girl” but she always corrects me and says, “I am not a sweetie pie! I am Grace!” She has no idea she has a middle name or a last name and refused to believe me tonight when I suggested the possibility.
She stopped napping for four months when she was a year old. That about killed me. She was the kind of baby who insisted on being carried all the time. She did not tolerate bouncy seats or swings. She did not allow anyone to hold her but me. She cried when people looked at her too closely.
The fact that she begs to go visit her friends or her grandma is something of an unexpected development. I never thought she’d want to leave my side, even for a couple of hours. Then again, I never thought she’d sleep through the night.
But she does. And one day she’ll know her middle name and she’ll pierce her ears and go on a date and pick a graduate school and buy a house.
When that happens, I am going straight over where I will ask for a banana, eat one bite and discard it on the coffee table. Then I am going to yank all the cushions off the couch and jump onto them as if I am a world-class gymnast. I will also wake her up at 6:12 a.m. and ask if I can watch television and then sneeze in her face and drink her Diet Coke.
Then, maybe, we’ll be even.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Bless her little heart. Bless yours too.
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Thanks for the great idea!
I am SO on my way to my daughter’s house now.
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Ah, so true. I love your honesty when writing about your little girl- I can relate even though I have all boys, and you ignite a little fire in my heart to “go for that girl” someday.
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I have some kids like that, the ones who won’t be kept still by the TV. I often wonder why we even pay for cable when it hardly gets watched these day! Oh how I longed for them to just sit still for half an hour. But no, they have boundless energy. And they sleep like they are dead, but I guess I would too if I had that much energy coursing through my body during my waking hours.
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She sounds very much like my 3.5 year old “sweetie pie” (a name she loves)! Too busy to do anything. So much energy. Bouncing around endlessly (some days I think I may need to scrape her off the ceiling!). I wish I had a fraction of that energy. My 11.5 year old? Totally like your boys. TV trance. Sits still for hours (tv, computer, or reading). Both are girls.
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Boy, if you’ll be even, then I think she’s getting off PRETTY EASY!
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Um…is the one bite of banana, all the cushions off the couch a total 4 year old girl thing or what?! Mine is 3.5, and I have a 14 month old girl, as well. The little one eats the discarded banana (usually) so that doesn’t bother me much…but I cannot for the life of me figure out why all of the cushions off the couch drives me as crazy as it does!! Even near catastrophic “jumps” off of the couch do not phase her, she is back at it the next day. Arrggghhh…I should be grateful she can jump, right?
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Ah yes…I like the way your mind works. At this point, I will just be puking all over my daughter’s clothes and furniture and trying to nurse through her husband’s t-shirt, but I’m sure the options will increase with time.
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My little 3 yr old sounds just like Grace! Every time I call her ‘Petunia’ she stomps her feet and tells me emphatically, “I’m not a tuna!! I’m plain Chloe.”
Makes me laugh every time.
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Ah, but if you’re lucky, your grandchildren will even things up for you and you won’t have to bother. You can just jump on your own couch, for fun.
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I think that if she is an early riser you might get more revenge from making her stay up later.
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Ah – those years do go by fast. If you’re lucky – she will only pierce her ears – not everything else above her shoulders. Cherish the sweet baby girl days – they are all too quickly gone
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Rebecca is the most “frail” looking of the girls and she’s a polar bear. Rochelle never wears one sweater when two (plus a jacket) will do.
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I meant to say my pet peeve with the laundry is one leg turned in and the other turned out. At least be consistent!
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