My Talking Phone

My phone woke me last night at midnight.  Only it wasn’t ringing.  It talked in a bossy woman’s voice, something about resetting the time.  Earlier in the evening, we’d had a momentary power outage and that provoked the phone.  Sure, I noticed the blinking “CL”–whatever that means–but I didn’t think it would wake me up by speaking in a woman’s voice.  But it did.

I woke with a start and flapped around, slapping all the buttons, poking around at the handset and finally settling back to sleep.  Then it happened again at 3:00 a.m. . . . and I repeated my stellar performance, blindly swinging at the base before flopping back on my pillow.  I spent the rest of the night in anxious suspense, waiting for the phone to demand to be reset.

I read a book (Derailed) the last couple of days.  The story was fast-paced and sleazy, really, but what really bothered me was the author’s frequent use of sentence fragments.  For instance, he’d end a paragraph with something like this:  “Waiting for the train to pull into the station.” 

I find that sort of writing so distracting.  (Because I am such a famous published novelist, I can judge these things.  Ha.)

Anyway, it was a quick read.  I thought I’d improve my mind by reading Henry James’ “Portrait of a Lady,” but now I’m worried a little because the introductory notes are complicated and I feel like I’m a high school sophomore facing required reading.

All the same, I’m going to read on.  But not tonight. 

Tonight, I have muffled the phone–well, pushed a button that made the “CL” stop blinking–and hopefully, we’ll have a silent night.

7 thoughts on “My Talking Phone

  1. I am so technologically challenged it’s embarrassing to admit. I’ve barely figured out how to send a call on a cell phone, let alone figure out how to retrieve a message. If the satellite TV gives me a blank screen with a message on it, I’m lost. It took me long enough just figuring out how to do more with my computer than turn it on. I’m hopeless. Here’s to a much better nite for you, Mel. And I hate books like that, too.


  2. Loved Portrait of a Lady. Henry James is such a realist, but he has such a pretty way of telling it.

    Ummm, in most things techical: I assign it to Mr. Right. I’ve got enough stuff on my plate as it is. Plus, I use earplugs so he would have gotten it anyway. 🙂


  3. Ugh. I can’t tolerate reading things with blatant grammatical errors. Even in church this last weekend, the song lyrics up on the screen were incorrect! They used “whose” when it CLEARLY should have been “who’s.” I couldn’t sing the rest of the song. Every time another slide came up with more lyrics I spent the time instead looking for errors. I know, not very godly of me, but it’s one of my pet-peeves! 🙂


  4. I think it’s all those political messages – finally blew out your phone’s electronic brains.

    My mom is befuddled by her phone, so every six months or so when I go up to Washington to visit, I check her phone out and get fix it. It’s usually just a couple of button presses…


    This Christmas I’m getting her a new phone w/remote extensions. Only problem is that it is hard to find phones that have big buttons. Her arthritic swollen fingers prevent her from being able to get to the teeny buttons very well.

    Meandering Deb



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