Today was my dad’s birthday and tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday. He would have been 64. She’ll be four.
They never met, which is one of the great tragedies of my life, because my dad died three weeks after he turned 47. I was 24 at the time and while I understood intellectually that he was too young to die, I only now understand, at age 41, how young, exactly, 47 is.
My dad would have been a gruff old guy, I suppose, but I know that under his exterior was the heart of a man who laughed with such gusto that he could have been a professional sit-com attender. Actors would have paid him money to hear his laughter at the right spots. He had the biggest laugh I’ve ever heard.
The dad-shaped hole he left in my life has not healed. If anything, it has frayed a little, become worn with age.
But in the long years since he’s been gone, my heart has filled up with the love of the ones who came to stay: my husband, my twin boys, my miracle son, and my unexpected daughter who was born on Labor Day, which continues to amuse me.
I’m baking cupcakes and I bought balloons and we’ll swim and play at her pool party tomorrow. And only once or twice will I think of her grandpa who never knew her. I wish they their lives would have overlapped, even a bit.
Loss and love, intertwined, intersect as September 1 ends and September 2 begins.
Happy birthday, Dad. Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I wish you had met.
(Last year, same thoughts. Different words.)
Actual Unretouched Photo 
My dad’s birthday is on the tenth. The same day as my niece.
My baby boys came after grandpa died and my little girl was just a babe.
I understand that dad sized hole very well.
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Happy Birthday to Baby Girl!
Call me crazy, but I’m rather sure your father knows all about his grandchildren.
Seems to me that the wireless connection on ‘the other side’ would be pretty good.
I’m 48. Your dad was WAY to young to die.
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Mel,
Your post made me cry as I feel your pain, just in a different way.
I don’t know what is worse, losing the dad that you know would have been a wonderful granddaddy or having a granddaddy who doesn’t care that he has grandbabies needing him.
Mrs. DMG
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Beautifully written and touching. Just goes to prove that life is indeed a veil of tears. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I hope the celebration of your daughter’s birthday is a wild and happy one!
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What a great tribute to your dad! My daddy died at 64. He didn’t meet my kids either – as I had them late. That has been one of the sadnesses of my life too.
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My grandson was born March 14th of this year and my dad died on March 22nd. He lived to the ripe old age of 84 but a dad is a dad is a dad. He didn’t get to see Dylan, either. I’m without both parents now and, let me tell you, it’s one of the weirdest feelings on earth. Even tho I’m 52 I feel like an orphan sometimes. Just another stage in life we face and work our minds around. Happy Birthday to the Moppet! Both my kids are September babies, the 22nd and 23rd, 2 years apart. They’ll be 30 and 28. Is that possible?!?
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Happy birthday =))
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Happy Birthday to daughter.
My sons’ dad died almost 20 years ago and his oldest grandchild is 17. It’s been a long time but I’m still sad he never met his grandchildren. He would have loved them.
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“The dad-shaped hole he left in my life has not healed.”
I feel this way, but about my mom.
My husband’s dad was killed only a year after we were married. I didn’t get a chance to know him but I do remember how much enjoyed being a Grandpa. Even today, I mourn the loss of him in my children’s lives. They would have loved each other deeply.
Sorry for the loss of your dad.
Happy Birthday to your sweet sweet girl.
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I am sorry for the loss of your well loved daddy. I’m sure even now he can feel that love & that your daughter through your help will feel his love from you.
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Wow, all this time I never knew that your daughter’s birthday and my son’s were only one day apart. He turned four on the first. Happy birthday to your daughter! And I’m sorry for your loss and all that goes with that.
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(((((HUG)))))
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Happy birthday to your daughter & your dad. My dad’s birthday was Friday also-and though he is still with us-he has been out of contact for several years-save one brief voice mail a few weeks back. He’s *met* his grand children (my 24 and almost 21 year old-once)
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Hope the party went well.
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What a touching post. This is the first time I’ve been here, but I am crying at what I just read. My father died at age 54-I was in college and had a long way to go before my kids arrived. It’s true about those holes never completely healing. Every major event in my life came after my dad was gone. And how I wish he could know my babies! He would be turning 63 on Sept. 9, just a few weeks before my son turns 1. Thanks for sharing.
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Ooooooh, weep! I am fortunate because I still have my parents, my grandparents and my husband still has his parents. In fact, I had another grandfather until about 8 years ago. We did, however, very recently, have a suicide in my family. (My brother’s wife). And that has left a huge hole as well.
Thanks so much for sharing from your heart, and helping me to continue to appreciate my parents!!! They are so easy to take for granted sometimes.
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