I guess I’m in the doldrums. A post-vacation slump, if you will, fueled by terrible sleep (my daughter’s sleep cycle has been disrupted) and a lack of focus. Since May, I’ve been rushing forward to meet one goal or another. First, we were frantic in our attempts to finish the school-at-home work.
Then school ended, and I had three weeks to pull together Fiesta! Vacation Bible School. That ended and we launched into our week of Vacation Without Leaving Home, which was fun, but oh-so-exhausting.
The following week found us relaxing (as much as one can with four children) at the lake for almost a week. We were home a few days and then I fled south to Portland for a few days of Mom’s Time Out.
And now I’m back, trying to find a rhythm for the days. I have no major demands, no immediate goals and I’m floundering a little.
Mostly, I spend my time (when not attempting to catch up on my blog-reading!) puttering around, dealing with little piles of stuff, decluttering, moving, washing, fixing. I feel like a bear about to go into hibernation who is fixated on preparations for the long, dark winter without being clear on what exactly is going on. I need to have my closets clean, my baskets of magazines and papers sorted, my files purged, children’s clothing sorted and organized and updated.
I do have help in these desires. I have a new washing machine and dryer. We hired a guy to power-wash and paint the outside of the house, plus the deck and playhouse. We’ve having a landscape company fix the backyard, including leveling out some areas and putting down playground mulch. The other day, a team of three men replaced my thirty-year old broken-down, scratched patio door with a new one in under forty-five minutes.
(Can I just note that it kills me to pay someone to do something I feel capable of doing myself, if only I had the time?)
I’m still feeling a little overwhelmed and lethargic and pointless.
This, too, shall pass. Meanwhile, summer’s rushing to a close and the moon hangs in the sky like a glowing bowling ball and mortality brings me no joy.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
The moon was beautiful here tonight.
Don’t fret; it’s probably normal letdown after 2 months worth of adrenaline.
This too shall pass.
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Maybe we unconsciously but instinctively know a change of season is coming upon us. I always feel kind of a deep bittersweet longing of some sort at this time of year, when Summer is still in ‘session’ but I go out early in the morning and feel the beginnings of crispness to the air. And I get up sooooooo early…already it’s dark until almost 6 am. I am a sunshine and light kind of person yet I’ve lived in the Pacific Northwest all my live. Maybe in a former life I was an iguana. 😉
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Mel, i think they call these “the dog days” of August. Though, here in New Hampshire, it has been blessedly NewEngland-like after too many weeks of uncharacteristic hot, humid weather.
My problem comes when watching friends who garden begin to reap the fruits of their labor and I am stabbed by pangs of regret that I am so indolent. Nothing makes me feel more useless than realizing I could not feed my family if there were no grocery stores!
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That adrenaline come down is such a pain.
Don’t worry, it’s also time for school at home to start again, then you’ll be back to all the usual go-go-go.
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Even Jesus rested. Look at this as your in-between time to the next event/crisis/etc…. ENJOY IT!!!
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Ah Mel Ive been there. I’ve been cleaning out every drawer and cupboard. My deadline is the 19th, the day my daughter gets married. The week after that I will have to do some canning. My apples are ready and green beans and tomato products need done. So because of that everything must be in order for the school year ahead. I want a few days of rest so I dont feel like I’m sliding into the school year by the skin of my teeth.
And hey if my husband would let me hire people to do stuff beleive me I would and i wouldnt waste one moment feeling bad about it. teehee
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I hear you, I had the same sort of summer. Rush rush rush! Travel travel… towards the beginning of the summer, and now August is slow and I’m spending a lot of time decluttering as well. I hope you can enjoy the peace a little, rather than feeling let down. Although it’s hard, especially if your personality is go-getter.
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Thanks for the spotlight link, by the way. 🙂
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I believe there is an epidemic of discontent and hopelessness wreaking havoc on many of our lives at this present time. So many bloggers are writing of being maudlin and out of synch. It is a mad rush world that demands all of us, especially our time.
Recently I have been praying that God would grant me His peace, to give me His contentment and to ignite the spark that has been smoldering for some time within me but not actually catching flame. All it takes is a little wind, and it is my faith that when I let the Holy Spirit move in me, its passing alone will give it the air it needed. Perhaps I will know the hope again of being wife, mom and daughter of God.
Sorry about your tiredness and feelings of pointlessness. If it helps at all, you do matter to me, and that is not just blogwords either.
Praying for you too.
Shalee
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