My three-day getaway begins tomorrow and I am ambivalent about going. I’m filled with unexpected longing and regret. My daughter has been waking in the wee hours of the morning from bad dreams. What will she do without me?
My 8-year old son has “swimmer’s ear”. Can I really leave while he isn’t feeling well?
The laundry is piling up at an alarming rate. The perennials cry out to be replanted into my new garden. Items destined for Goodwill sit in closets and cupboards (“pick me! pick me!” they cry–can you hear them?). The kitchen counter clutter pile of unread magazines hasn’t shrunk an inch and the living room is growing its own fungus of clutter. The twins still haven’t finished their spelling from school-at-home.
I have to much to do! How can I go? And my daughter, especially, will miss me! How can I go? And my husband . . . will be in charge of all this (she says, waving her arms at her kingdom with great drama) and how can I leave?
Well. I’ll tell you. I’m not indispensable. So, I will just get into the car and go. I’ll drive south, stop at the outlet malls, feel the adrenalin thrill of finding the correct exit in Portland traffic, and find myself in a different world, once in which no one starts a sentence with these words: “Mom, do you think . . . ” and one in which no one will holler at me to come and assist them in the bathroom: “Mom! I’m done!”
But I do feel guilt and senseless panic that I will never return, not because I’ll run away and start a new life which does not involve laundry (because that life could only be lived at a nudist colony), but because something horrible might happen and the safest place for me and my children is right here, under my popcorn ceilings, in this messy house.
Irrationality. It’s not just for toddlers anymore.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Go. Enjoy.
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Hmm, I didn’t realize anyone else went through that. Glad to hear I’m not the only one. 🙂
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I could have written this post myself. I’m always sure that some major crisis will happen when I’m away and our family will be torn asunder forever. My fearsa re rea l fears. I always wuiet myself with the verse that says, ‘Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee. I pray this at night when my fears escalate. Even at home I lie in bed and thnk of all the scenarios that could happen. Sometimes I think I need medication; like it has to be a hormone imbalance or something.
Okay you never intended for my to pshycho analyze myself right here on your blog so I’ll stop. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night.
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Have a fabuloso trip!
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(For some reason your blogging is making the summer go by very very quickly.)
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It’ll still be there when you get back, so go! Have a great time! Take lots of pictures and notes.
(um, where are you going? I’ve forgotten)
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I am soooooo jealous. Enjoy it. Nothing will have changed when you get back. They’ll still need you – probably more that first day. And there will still be plenty of laundry!
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Have a great time! Too bad you’re not going to be in Portland NEXT week. I live in Indiana but will be driving with my children this week to Oregon to visit my sister. I’ll be close to Portland starting Saturday night and all the next week. Sigh…I’d love to meet you for coffee and non-fat ice-cream. (I’m at 12 lbs down now BTW).
Your laundry room and house sound like mine right now. I’m wondering how I’m going to get this disaster area turned around by Thursday morning in time for our departure. Ugh!
Anyway…have fun!
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Have a great time!
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Hi…visiting you I think for the first time…
I have two girls, 7 and 4 so I totally understand how you feel! I feel that way almost every time I leave, even to spend the night at my mom’s an hour away.
But sometimes we just have to pray for safety for all and go…because if we don’t get away now and then, how can we ever re-fuel ourselves to be the best mom we can be?
Have a super time!
Blessings,
~Tammy (another Tammy- there seem to be a lot of us!) 😉
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I think lots of moms could have written this. Hmmm. When was the last time I went away without my kids….. My oldest is 19….. That would be… never! So go and enjoy! Then come back and write about it!
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Long time luker, “coming out of the closet I guess you could say” =)) Go have a great time, you will be a better Mommy for it =)))
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Oh, have a great visit … (without me … booo, hooo).
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A THREE-day getaway? Is this an annual event? I hope you get up early and stay up late. Don’t waste a single minute. I’m sure you’ll have lots of stories to share when you get back.
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I hope you’re having a MARVELOUS time. Looking forward to a full report!
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I hope you have a great time — and come back glad to be home 🙂
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I know LOTS of us relate to what you wrote. I flew to visit friends last weekend, and I felt all sorts of guilt! But it was actually kind of great to not be “Mommy” for 3 solid days.
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Hope you’re having a wonderful time. ALONE!
Remember…. don’t cut up anyone’s meat at a restaurant and don’t say, “Huh?” every time you hear a small voice say, “Mommy?”
Not that I know about any of that….:)
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