Linda R. Hirshman’s op-ed piece in the June 18, 2006, Washington Post, “Unleashing the Wrath of Stay-at-Home Moms,” says this:
Time and again, when I could identify the sources of the most rabid criticism and Google them, male and female, they had fundamentalist religious stuff on their Web sites or in the involuntary biographies that Google makes possible.
You should know that my previous comments in response to her “American Prospect” piece are number one when you Google “Linda R. Hirshman.” I couldn’t figure out why so many people were suddenly visiting my blog, but that explains it.
Now I wonder this. Does my religious affiliation negate my viewpoint? I believe that for Linda R. Hirshman it does. Or perhaps it’s my status as a long-time stay-at-home (now working-at-home) mother that makes my viewpoint irrelevant in her eyes.
I still want to know who, exactly, Linda R. Hirshman expects will take care of the children while all the mothers are at the office. Perhaps she is in favor of illegal immigration and expects immigrants to take over the distasteful task. Who? I just want to know.
(Anyway, hello, Linda R. Hirshman. I figure you’re reading this since I retain the number on Google spot on your name. And really, I don’t feel hostility toward you, but sincere confusion. Did you really mean all that stuff or are you just trying to get a little more publicity for your book? And I must declare that I thought your idea of using the New York Times brides as research subjects was very clever.)
Actual Unretouched Photo 
I’ll join you in the “Linda R. Hirschman Thinks I’m Irrelevant” club (could we make little banners for our sidebars?). I’m a Christian. I’m a stay-at-home mom. I have a blog with some “stuff” on it. Any wrath I have is not directed in her direction, although she *needs* to think it is—it’s simply a matter of me not being able to fling it high enough into her ivory, odor-free, silent tower.
I’ll save my wrath for things like poo stains and grocery carts with wobbly wheels.
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LOL! Oh, that must be SO annoying to her to have YOU show up first on a Google search of HER name!
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I think Mrs. Hirshman underestimated all the mom’s that chose to be at home, and enjoy being at home.
I have to say though, I’m glad you are the first google spot, you make a great spokesperson for all us at home mom’s.
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you would hope your reiligious affiliation would not negate a viewpoint, but i have a feeling, in this case it does, at least, like you said, for her and probably many like her. but I did kind of miss your wit and sarcasm on this one!! 🙂
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Patriarchs of old kneew more than this lady does. Abe Lincoln, schooled in a log cabin, knew moe than she does. Wasnt it Abe that said, All that I am and ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother? Or was it he who said “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” If no ones home to rock the cradle who will raise up presidents? And I’m sure she doesnt care about this, but if mothers are all out working who will raise up the Billy Sundays, or the David Livingstones or all the great men of God tha have brought revival throughout the world in times past?
We’re raising a generation of lazy kids and kids lacking values and morals because we’ve been lulled into the lie that homemaking is somehow inferior to careers in the “work world”.
Sad!
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sorry about the typos.
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Ok, my first thought on this little piece was that she’s trying to drum up more publicity by saying “poor me, I was just standing up for working women and no one noticed that or thanked me.”
“I think what caused the ruckus is that someone came out full blast for women who work” were her words in this article. What actually caused the ruckus is her blatant disregard for women that choose to raise their children themselves. What caused the ruckus was her insults and demeaning words towards stay at home moms. Fine, stand up for working women, talk about the sacrifices they make and the balances they have to strike with work and family and how they are out there fighting for all women and equality, etc. But if that was her mission, why then was her original written pieces on this topic so outright mean and baseless and aimed right at women that choose to be home? It was an attack on the latter, not a defense for the former.
And I have to say, I worked for ten years before quitting to stay home to raise my daughter. I have never been so challenged intellectually (understanding her physical and emotional limitations has been an enormous challenge), risked so much (try cutting your nice little life on two incomes down to one and surviving well – there are risks involved such as moving far away to afford the life we have chosen) or been rewarded so completely. And prior to quitting my job to be home, I had worked in non-profit with immigrant children and their families and was helping start up a sister-non-profit to do the same. I still say being at home wins the challenge/intellect/risk/reward thing hands down.
Sorry, I just blogged on your blog. 😦
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I’m at a loss for words. She compares herself to Socrates? Does she think that because we give our hearts to our God, we give away our brains?
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Sounds like just another random, pointless argument to me. I tried clicking on, and reading the info from every link, but after two paragraphs of each diatribe, my eyes glazed-over and I passed-out.
What is the real point to these debates?
Not saying that you both don’t have valid points, but that those valid points are being wasted on the opposition. If a conservative Christian home maker ever waged an argument through the blogosphere that had a die-hard feminist changing flags, or vice-versa, I’d eat my hat.
So that means these arguments only serve to rally those who already share the same beliefs into a feeding frenzy… then we hear a lot of “Yeah! She feels almost exactly the way I feel, except I wasn’t articulate enough to speak on my own behalf and rally those who share my beliefs! Thank goodness she’s here to affirm what I already knew I believed in!” Both sides do this, and I’m not absolving myself from this very same offense.
As a man with liberal beliefs, I believe that both side of this particular argument make certain good points, but both are too caught-up in their own beliefs to actually listen to an opposing point of view. This is unfortunate.
This problem, this failure to listen (to really, actively listen as in, taking the input at face-value and creating dialogue instead of listening for loopholes, contradictions, and chinks in the armor of the opposing point of view to be used in a counterattack later) is also present in the media and all facets of government. It is the very reason why our government is failing us.
Don’t you think we’d get more accomplished if we talked to each other instead of at each other? And who will make the first gesture of goodwill? And who will be trusting enough to accept this initial offer? Geez, I’m starting to sound like my mother…
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Hmm. I disagree with much of what she says also, and I’m not even a mom. Perhaps, though, she shares something with some of my other friends: The only fundamental/religious people she knows are the Falwell/Robertson/Roberts/Dobson types, who (from this Christian’s point of view) are too busy being self-righteous & damning others instead of being (as Martin Luther describes it) Little Christs. She probably hasn’t met conservative Christians (like yourself) who are great people & try to *live* the Gospel.
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Bah! I never, ever expect the unregenerate heart to understand or appreciate that to which the Lord calls me. The unsaved can’t understand the lavish love of Jesus’ trip to the cross, so why should I expect her to understand the beauty of the role for which He made me?
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I think B.J. speaks some wise words. I’m a “working away from home” mom, and though I don’t agree with much of what Linda Hirshman says (it SHOULD be a choice and we should all respect each other’s choices), I would like to point out that sometimes, those of us who have by choice or by circumstance been in the workforce for much of our children’s lives feel judged just like stay-at-home moms feel judged. When people refer to stay-at-home moms as “people who choose to raise their children themselves” it makes me a little uncomfortable because, even though I work away from home, I AM RAISING MY CHILDREN MYSELF just like you are. And when people imply that “lazy kids and kids lacking values and morals” is related to the fact that some of us are working away from home, it makes me sad and disappointed that we have to resort to casting judgement.
At one point, our children were in day care. I’ll admit, I didn’t love it and don’t think it was ideal, but our kids survived and thrived and I believe they’re growing up to be beautiful girls who aren’t lazy and have great values and morals.
My other point is that, if we want to be fair, we have to leave room for the stay-at-home dads in this discussion too. Let’s not assume that the “hand that rocks the cradle” is necessarily the mom. In our case, it ended up working out better for my husband to become the stay-at-home parent, and I’d just like to encourage you to keep your opinions open-minded enough to leave room for him and others like him.
Okay, enough of my diatribe. Basically, I just want us to remember to respect each other. That’s my biggest issue with the so-called “mommy wars” – that we damage ourselves most by not respecting each other.
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Did you read Everybody Hates Linda by Judith Stadtman Tucker? A very well reasoned response.
And…Abe’s mom might have been the bees knees but the woman couldn’t even go vote for her son. Barbara Bush, on the other hand, can thank a group of women 100 years ago who decided to get the hell out of the house and make some change for being able to vote for her son.
Motherhood might be the most rewarding this and that but many of the rights you enjoy today were brought to you by women who did not stay at home.
Finding the balance, that’s what it’s all about.
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You’ve probably read enough of my blog to realize I’m one of those flaming liberals as well as a Christian. It is possible to be both.
I worked my tail off for women’s rights in the 60’s and 70’s. (No, I didn’t burn my bra – that would have been a terrifing sight to behold). We had no choices back then. If I subscribed to Ms. Hirshman’s point of view, we would all be right back where we started with no choice at all.
With a few exceptions, most of us thought we were working for the right to choose our life path without deciding what those choices should be for others.
Of course the poor or the single parents still have few choices – work or welfare – but that’s a subject for another time.
Ms. H. seems to think higher education is wasted on the SAHM’s. She’s blind. It isn’t essential to being a good parent but I believe the better educated we are, the more we can help our children which in turn benefits society.
On the other hand, I agree with Heather. It’s just as wrong to trash the “work away from home” parents (of which I was one for years) as it is to accuse the SAHM’s of wasting their lives.
There is so much we can accomplish when we work together. We don’t need to waste our time and energy on Ms. H.
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I just spent the last few minutes reading her blog and she sure is a piece of work. Have a baby, just don’t have two kids. What the heck and marry a liberal? Oh and I love her butter comment.
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Wake up, folks. You’re throwbacks to the dark ages. Linda Hirshman is absolutely correct in what she says.
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I just stumbled onto Linda H.’s article and this blog. I was a work-outside-the-home mom for 10 years before making the decision to stay-at-home. Forget the bloggers, the philosphers, the liberals and conservatives! For me, I have to look no further than my own front doorstep at 3pm to know whether or not making the personal choice to SAH is worth it. That’s where you’ll see me greeted by my smiling 12-year-old son as he comes home from school. Stay-at-home moms, don’t let the working crowd bully you with their justifications! It’s their choice, sure, and believe me I justified a LOT when I worked and went to school for my Master’s and kept my son in daycare from sun up to sun down (sometimes later.) What’s amazing is how the work-outside-the-home moms never think they’re sacrificing anything (time with their kids????) but instead feel they somehow know how to ‘manage time’ better. Last time I looked, we all have the same 24 hours in a day to accomplish life in. The question for SAH and WOH moms is, how will you spend that time? And what do you value?
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