My brother used to call me “Little Miss Perfect.” This is the type of insult that is difficult to refute. Argue against your accused perfection with examples of your imperfections and you protest too much. Agree and you sound conceited.
Mostly, I never really understood the insult. Maybe the view from my set of eyeballs was vastly different from the view from my brother’s, but I somehow doubt it. What was he really saying? That he resented my tendency to follow rules and get straight A’s? That he wished he, too, could play the piano and babysit on the weekends? That my beauty was so stunning that he was half-blinded when he beheld my visage?
That old “you think you are so perfect!” insult is blatantly false. Does anyone really think they are perfect? Is anyone actually so blinded to their own reality inside their skin? Where are these people who truly believe they are better than all the rest?
I ponder these questions because today I received the following message from a girl from Lompoc, California, in my inbox: “Isn’t begging a little beneath your intellect and purported brilliance? And yes I choose to be annonymous [sic] just like you choose to be obnoxious.” (She was referring to my recent post at my old blog address in which I implored my readers to come to this address instead.)
And I have a few questions for her, so pardon me if you came here and you are not living on Ocean Avenue.
1) Do you have me mixed up with someone else?
2) Have I declared myself brilliant and of superior intellect? (Because if I haven’t yet, let me point out that I did score a 31 on the ACT, the SAT alternative. On the SAT I only scored 1240 (670 verbal, 570 math), but I had no idea you could study for those tests. Also, have I mentioned that I was ranked fourth out of four hundred academically in high school? No? Well, I have been remiss. But now you know. I am smarter than you.)
3) Did you realize that when you post anonymously your IP number is captured by most stat-counters? And so I can tell who you are and from where you post? Duh.
4) Why do you torture yourself by returning to my blog time after time? (Eighty-eight times–no, eighty-nine times so far.) Is my obnoxiousness so riveting?
Well, that’s all for now. I hope you have a swell day.
Signed,
Little Miss Perfect
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Mel, I’m quite sure she DOES have you mixed up with someone else, but isn’t it funny how some people keep reading the blogs of people they really don’t like? Weird creatures we are!
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I’m quite sure she DOES NOT have you mixed up with someone else. People are such [insert word I will not use on your blog because you are not vulgar like me]. Anonymous, rude commenters are the pond scum of the blogging world. Obviously you shold take no notice of anything they “say”, but of course, you end up dwelling on it needlessly.
I too am baffled by the “why the hell do you read it then?” question.
I got a series of really cruel comments (all anonymous, of course) early on in my blogging life that totally hit home for whatever reason, and I deleted them, but I wish I hadn’t…especially since because I think the same anonymous commenter still posts rude (though not AS rude) comments from time to time.
You did the right thing by posting this, because your readers will always come to your defense.
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Here’s a question: why didn’t she go to the new site the first time? Sure begging is beneath you, but sometimes you have to stoop for the dummies who don’t get it the first time (which she obviously didn’t, or she would not have read that message.)
BTW, I usually read out of bloglines so this is the first time I’ve seen your new header. LOVE IT!
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Ahhhh… anonymous commenters (or, in this case, annonynous)– what treasures. They are the mosquitos of the blogging world, trying to suck all the joy out of our self-expression. Just swat this one and be on your way. Oh, wait! You just did that! Brava, my friend.
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SOMEONE must be above average, or there would be no average. You’re right, you are, so I can relate to you! 🙂 (hope all the people that hate me on MY blog catch this! 🙂 Great post!
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You know you’ve made it in the blogging world when the trolls come out to visit!
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Great comebacks! It’s too bad some people have so much time on their hands-and are so unhappy with their lives.
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Ouch! I have always hated this about the online world- when you are not face to face with someone it seems to “allow” such hostility and harshness from time to time, and I would *hope* this behavior isn’t how they are normally!
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Congrats on the ACT score – I must admit, that does put you pretty high on the perfect score. Mine was 28 over all, but my reading was 35.
Reminds me of Mary Poppins – “Practically perfect in every way.”
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I’m being snarky and saying I also think she has you mixed up with someone else, someone whose blog I used to read quite often too but got turned off by the writer’s smugness and condescending attitude toward the rest of us out here. As for YOU, Mel…you’re insightful, funny, honest, heartwarming, and “one of us” and I love coming here. And as to posting your new website over on your Blogspot account…well, how ELSE were we supposed to come find you?! I mean…DUH!! Ah well…don’t let her get under your skin. Have a good weekend in spite of her! ((HUG!!))
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Well, I prefer the term “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” myself!
Oh, was there something wrong with being perfect? 🙂
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I’m sure 90% of us only read blogs we really like!
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Okay…glaring example of non-perfectness:
“…on the SAT I ony scored…”
HAH! I found it. A typo. Your one mistake. EVAH.
Please know that I. Am. Kidding. I agree with Emily, with blogging success come the trolls. Happy Friday 🙂
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Uh, what’s “ACT?”
(I must be too old…)
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I scored a 1600 on my SAT but FAT GOOD IT DID ME IN THE REAL WORLD.
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I think you are perfect, Mel.
Don’t ever change.
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Wow, you’re SO much smarter than me as well. But I still think you’re pretty neat.
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You seem to get the best fan-mail. I’ve been deliberately trying to piss folks off for months now, and still no angry rebuttals (OK… not really, but still, I’m just sayin).
I envy you for your haters.
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Lordamighty woman, you do make me laugh!
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I love your attitude!
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Mel, one of the reasons I like you is because you freely and fully admit you aren’t perfect, yet you aren’t afraid to pat yourself on the back. You are balanced.
I think someone is jealous. And illogical.
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Don’t put to much weight in unsolicited, uninvited, uninformed comments! Not to mention cowardly remarks from anonymous lurkers.
But “kudos” to this lurker as he/she prompted some creative energy and you posted this great post!
Diane
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Damn!
I thought the Lompoc thing would throw you, but you’re on to me.
Guess I’ll cancel that lease.
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WTF?
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Mel,
Thanks for once again demonstrating why those who *know* and love you keep coming back. Blog hating and spewing must be the new international pasttime.
Lucky you had a brother who could provide you with *defender* training.
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There’s showing the other cheek… I meant hers. I think she just got a verbal depantsing. Good, she deserved it, the little snot.
I don’t care if you’re little miss perfect. I still like your brilliance and the way you shine.
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Hi Melodee.
Pay no attention to the troll. Between the moron and Gina, you have gained a new reader.
First, Gina’s plug which got me here and then the troll and your great post which is keeping me here.
Ann (aka granny)
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Okay, I just did what you said and followed the links. And I do think your way smarter than me because you can actually remember the score of your SAT and ACT tests and your getting paid to blog…that takes some serious genious. Congrats!
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well I would post my SAT score right now, but I’m not a fan of my score and recently I’ve come to notice that hard work does not merit success or awards. I’m a book freak and I adore school and learning alot. Well i guess school and the SAT or two totally different things. I kicksed ass in school to get into columbia university, NYU, or Fordham University, but do you know whats its like to get rejected by Columbia and NYU. Espiacially, when you know you’ve been kicking ass in high school for all for years, but get rejected because of your SAT score, well I’m no genius or do you have to be to get into a top university where you deserve to learn the best. Oh! i forgot the SAT determines a students success in life i guess( sarcasm) lol, but i congratulate you guys whose scored their ideal score and not what others ask or the reverse:)
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oh sorry fix that ** hard works does not always promise awards or success*** but you have to start with knowing that you weren’t working towards acknowledgment, but rather for yourself
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