My 3-year old daughter and I went grocery shopping tonight. The shopping car weighed a ton by the time I wheeled it to the check-out lane. I’m not sure I purchased enough ingredients to cook more than one decent meal, but we have enough snack food and lunch components to feed the men who will be installing our (used) Rainbow Play System tomorrow.
So, as I parked the cart in preparation for unloading and paying, I remembered that I’d forgotten bottled water. Now, I do enjoy a cold, refreshing bottle of water, but I think of it as a luxury item because, after all, we do have tap water and drinking glasses and even ice in our house. But my husband adores the plastic-encased water you pay money for at the store and the kids super-adore it and that’s why you can never find a bottle of water in the fridge when you are actually in dire need of a chilled bottle to take with you in the car. Or to school, in a backpack.
We abandoned our cart–for the second time (the first time, we left it unattended and full to the brim right next to the deli counter because my daughter clutched herself in a very unladylike manner and declared, “I NEED TO PEE!”)–in the check-out lane and rushed a few aisles over to the drink aisle. As I scanned the shelves for the cheapest bottled water, a voice floated right up to me and snapped its fingers in my face.
I looked up, bewildered. Me? Are you talking to me? I focused my eyes on this woman, right there next to the bottled water. I tuned in just as she said, “And I’m homeless and hungry.” I might have blinked a few times, confused, and then I said, “Well, if you want, I’ll buy you something to eat.” And I took note that she reeked of cigarettes and seemed to be about my age.
(Last time a beggar surprised me in a parking lot with a story about being homeless, hungry, blah-blah-blah, I handed over a few dollars and then vowed that next time, well, next time, I’d offer to buy some peanut butter and bread, just to call the beggar’s bluff.)
This time, I had a strategy and I offered food. She said, “Really?” and I said, “Yes. Meet me at the checkout lane.” Then I allowed my daughter to grab an overpriced bouncy ball from a display and herded her back to our cart. I muscled a case of thirty-five bottles of water with me.
And the lady with overprocessed white-blond hair appeared at my lane a few minutes later. She plopped down two yogurts and a sports drink (whew–I was all ready to give her a little lecture about my not buying alcohol) and two oranges. She said, “Thank you so much!” and I said, “No problem,” and continued to unload my groceries. Then she asked, “Hey, would it be all right if I got some beef jerky or something?” and I said, “Sure!”
And so off she darted to look at beef jerky. When she reappeared, she added beef jerky (“If it’s all right with you–it’s $5.99,” she said) to the conveyor belt. And I smiled, but without really looking into her eyes and said, “It’s okay.”
Then she walked away again.
While the checker scanned my items, I said, “Hey, did you recognize that woman right behind me?” She said she hadn’t noticed her. I explained that the woman claimed to be homeless and I just wondered if she was a regular at the store.
Just as it was time to pay, the homeless woman reappeared. She stood behind the checker in the next aisle, clutching a backpack and a soft drink with a straw. The checker said in a low voice, “I haven’t seen her before,” and I said, “Oh.” Then we reached the items for the homeless woman–I’d separated them so they’d be easy to bag. I said, “Just add these, but bag them separately, okay?” and she did.
As she scanned the items, though, she murmured, “Are you buying all this for her?” and raised her eyebrows. I said, “Yes,” and then, “It could be me,” when, of course, it couldn’t really be me because I would never make decisions that would land me in a grocery store with bleached straw for hair begging for food. So I amended my statement and said, “Or someone you know,” and I was thinking then of drugs and how they steal yourself from you and how you could end up in the grocery store, waiting for a stranger to purchase a few items for you so you could save your cash to buy drugs.
And the checker handed me the bag. I sneaked a Hershey’s candy bar into the bag and handed it to the stranger. She said, “Thank you so much!” and I said, “You’re welcome. Good luck!” as if she was going to compete in a spelling bee or maybe bid on a house at auction.
She strode out of the store, heading right, while I used all my body weight to shove my cart out of the store heading left. My daughter and I stopped for a moment to ride the coin-operated car (well, she rode; I watched) and then exited to the parking lot. As I struggled to guide the cart to my 1987 van while keeping my girl from being struck by a careless car, I saw the woman in the distance, walking across the parking lot.
I noticed she was walking down the street when I climbed into my van.
When we turned left at the stoplight, I saw her at the bus stop. I glanced over as we drove past and saw her spooning yogurt into her mouth with the same quickness I use when placating a gaping baby-bird-mouthed baby.
Was she homeless? Where did she get a spoon? Was she saving her money for meth, as I suspect? Does it matter? It really didn’t to me. For that woman was someone’s daughter and that is enough reason for me to spend $10.00 unexpectedly on a stranger at the grocery store.
I hope she is warm tonight and safe.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
Oh Mel,
That was so nice.
I have done similar things. There were always homeless people in the City, 3 to a block during the summertime. It’s so tragic.
Thinking about this I am reminded how I don’t see them now in the burbs. Am I a bad person if I say it’s a relief?
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Wow. That is inspiring. You can’t solve that lady’s problems, but the way you helped out for a meal was great.
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In the end it doesn’t matter if she was pulling your chain or truly in need. Feeding another person is *never* the wrong thing to do.
Good for you.
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Bless you!
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That was beautiful, and as much as I would hope that “person” could never be you or me, there are things in my life I have done or decisions I have made that I NEVER thought I would be faced with- you just never know. What a nice kindness you have done and what a seed you have planted in her heart, for sure.
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Thanks to you, she got some wholesome nurishment in her body for at least that day.
Bless you!
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I’ve done similar things thru the years…the first time I read the scripture about “entertaining angels unawares”, it made such an impression on me that I’ve truly tried to incorporate it into my own life. We never know, do we? I had a half-uncle who, due to one of the most horrifically dysfunctional upbringings on this Earth, ended up being a homeless alcoholic who wandered up and down the West Coast until he died at the age of 33. He’d be gone for months on end without any contact with family, then he’d call my Mom out of the blue from Yakima or San Francisco or Medford…always collect, and she’d always take it. When accosted by a stranger, I always think of Frankie. I don’t care if the stranger is lying or not…I see my poor half-uncle’s filthy face, dead eyes, the misery of his life encasing him in a shroud…and I hand over money or whatever. Too often we cast a deaf ear, a blind eye…what would Jesus do in these situations?
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P.S. Have you ever read the book “In His Steps” by Charles M. Sheldon? I read this when I was a brand=new Christian and this book made such a huge impression on me. It is something else that affects the way I think in my daily walk thru Life, too.
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Matthew 25:35-40
New International Version (NIV)
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37″Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40″The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
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It is so funny how things happen in the blogosphere… My friend writes a post on the sayings on church signs and that same day I happen to blog hop on another post on the same subject… I have a friend who is a new foster mother and, boom!, Praying for a Prodigal is doing a three part post on fostering…
Yesterday, a woman who didn’t speak English and her two sons, “got” me as I was heading into the grocery store. She was frantic and holding a sign I couldn’t read because she was too close to me. “Please, please,” she said. “Hungry.” “Please, please.” I had no cash on me. Not a penny. I tried to tell her that I didn’t have any money on me and she became more frantic. I pulled out my wallet to show her. Look, there’s nothing in there. She saw my wallet was empty and got quiet and walked away.
Once in the store, my interior monologue began. Should I buy some food and bring it out to her? What if she isn’t there? It doesn’t matter if she is really in need or not.
If she’s scamming me, she’s scamming me. I was just making a quick trip and I didn’t really find anything on my way through the store that was good convenience food. So, I bought a $15 dollar gift card at the checkout. While the rest of my groceries were being checked, I wrote the amount inside the card. There was a “to” and “from” spot. It seemed a little cheesy, but I wrote “from Jesus.” It was the truth. He was why I was doing this. Of course, she was nowhere to be found when I exited the store.
So, I placed the gift card in the glove compartment of the car. I called my husband to tell him what happened and we agreed to keep the gift card in the car. To be ready the next time.
I admire your example Mel. You’re right. What is $10 going to mean to you and what will that $10 mean to that woman? Whether she knows it or not, she met Jesus through your act of kindness. Good job!
(Sorry for the mini-blog. I didn’t intend for it to go on this long.)
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I love your example. I have on more than one occasion had the opportunity to ‘feed another’ and always try to use it as a learning tool in compassion for my children.
Bless you.
~K!
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I’m so delighted to have found your blog, I love your writing style and your humor. And I know you weren’t trying to toot your own horn, but how wonderful of you to have the presence of mind to offer to buy her food, not just brush her off in your rush to get your water back up to the front. I refuse to give money to panhandlers, not because my heart doesn’t break a little when I see them, but I personally knew a well-paid panhandler who changed his clothes and went home to his nice house after a successful day of begging in dirty, ragged clothes. Buying them food is a perfect solution. And slipping in a candybar just proves you are angelic.
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I agree with Mary. I know that I have been scammed a few times for a few dollars, and almost got angry, but then I figured it wasn’t up to me to judge whether or not they really needed my help. What you did was very smart and compassionate. Next time I see someone asking for money, I’ll ask if I can buy them some food or some gas or some bus tokens or a coat or an umbrella or get someone to fix their car–whatever it is they need besides cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. It’s so easy to throw money at a beggar, but it’s more Christ-like to show the compassion you did.
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I know you didn’t post this for pats on your back, and public applause, but for an example, and I thank you for that. She won’t forget that act of love.
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That was beautiful! I read a book recently to my kids called, Under The Overpass. It was great, it really helped all of look at homeless people in a different light. What a great example you are to your kids!
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I agree with Tonya. That was really beautiful and a gracious gesture on your part. I hope she appreciated your genorisity.
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That was an amazing story. And amazing stories from your readers as well
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What an amazing gesture of generosity of heart. You are so right–it doesn’t matter what her circumstances are….you felt led to do this–and your were obedient. That is all we need to know!
Diane
(who, just this morning, corrected the blog-link on my sidebar to your blog!)
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Mel,
What I love most about this post is that you did it with your daughter. What an example of generosity and love and compassion for her to carry all through her life, and she will remember, believe me.
When we lived in Nebraska, my husband, my then 3 year old daughter and I were pulling out of a McDonalds in February. (And that is one really cold month there!) There was a man standing on the corner looking cold and hungry. We stopped and asked if he needed anything. Food was his answer and a ride to a town 45 minutes away, which was not on our agenda. He had a ticket home on Greyhound, but no way to get to the station. He was hiking it. We gave him the food we had purchased and suggested his sitting in McDs to get warm. We decide we could eat at home.
By the time we made it home, 4 minutes tops, my husband had his own plan. He called the church to see if they had a benevolence fund, he called the police to see if there was a ride that could be given or information for one. There was a fund, and there was a ride, but not until the following day. So my sweet man said, “Shalee, I know we can’t afford it, but I want to do something for him. I want to pay for a room at the motel so he has a warm place to stay tonight.” I agreed and only asked that he take our daughter so that she could see watch and learn.
When he came back I noticed that he was without his new coat and gloves and hat and he was all smiles. My daughter came in telling me all about it; Daddy gave his coat away. Daddy gave his hat. Daddy gave his gloves.” (Later we did get a call from the police station telling us that the guy did make it to the bus station to go home. Small towns do have some perks!)
My daughter still remembers it at 9 years old. And she often prays for those without, that someone will help them.
Good for you Mel, even though I know that isn’t why you told us. I’d rather give and look “foolish” in the eyes of the world than to not give at all, for it not for me to judge, but to do.
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I really loved this story. I just wanted to point out that although I too understand the concept of good decisions and although I can’t imagine finding myself in that position (and work to prevent it!) it IS possible for people to end up in those situations by way of natural disasters or personal disasters – think Katrina, think death or disability. I know it’s hard to imagine, but you really never know. Realizing that has helped me be not only more giving, but more truly compassionate.
Also, Christ himself was without “a place to lay his head” and was terribly criticized and persecuted for it. It’s clear that there are many reasons one could end up asking for money or food at the grocery store.
I think you did a great thing for that woman, for yourself, and for your daughter (for she will surely learn a bit about kindness from you.)
Blessings.
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Last week I had a lady ask me for a ride home. It was in the opposite direction of where I was going. She just came up to me on the sidewalk and asked if I could take her home because the bus made her dizzy. I didnt do it. I was too afraid.
You did a good thing.
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Wow! Awesome post. I’ll have to tell you if I see that woman around. I would have said the same things. What can you do? I agree on the food thing.
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What she might be is less important that what you were at the time. Well done, Mel.
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What a wonderful story! How heart-warming. That was so kind of you.
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I loved this post and what you did for her! 🙂
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That issue is very close to my heart as a dear family of mine was homeless at one point in time. They were never addicted to a substance, just made some bad choices.
I did my internship with a shelter in D.C. also and there I too learned the anatomy of homelessness.
You never know whose daughter, mother, sister or aunt you just fed.
The lyrics to a song just pops into my head everytime I think of your post:
“Maybe we are entertaining angels unaware”
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I’m 18 and after reading 2 of your post, especially, anonymous I loved you!!!!
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