He’s only two and already, he shuttles between mommy’s house and daddy’s house. This afternoon, he cried and cried and when I said, “What’s wrong? What do you want?” he sobbed, “I want mommy!” I called her on the phone, but when I held the receiver to his ear, he just stared at me with giant tears glistening in his eyes and backed away from the earpiece. He wants his mommy, not just a voice on the phone.
Bummer for him, though, because this is Daddy’s Week. They switch off and this is the week he’ll only see his mother on Wednesday night. The rest of the time, he’ll be at daddy’s house. He no longer really has a house–he’s a guest at either his mom’s house or his dad’s house.
I’ve been watching him since he was a year old and now I see him more than either of his parents do.
Something is wrong with this picture.
I don’t understand this. At all. I can’t imagine separation from my daughter who is the same age. She wouldn’t understand it.
Tonight, while I held her, she looked up at me and said, “I’m glad you’re here.”
So am I.
So am I.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Actual Unretouched Photo 
That made me cry. Way too confusing for young children.
Divorce is not understandable at age 2, I should know. I only had weekends with my Dad.
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how sad for him. that would break my heart. you’re such a great mom, Mel.
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I bestow the highest honor of the “5 Wows”, this time to Baby Girl, for knowing just the right thing to say.
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Are we really sure that joint physical custody for a toddler is the best possible solution? Because I’m not so sure it is. Both my ex and I have alternately, voluntarily been the weekend parent in order to spare my daughter the “guest in her parents’ homes” syndrome. I don’t mean to do a “mommy/daddy drive-by” because everyone does the best they can.
I just wonder if we as a society shouldn’t think about revising our ideas about sole physical/joint legal custody with liberal visitation rights.
Hmmmm… it’s a toughy.
~CA~
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This will probably come across as a bad view, but I can honestly say that I wish my parents had split up when I was that young. Really, they never should have married to begin with (they only did b/c they were prego w/me). However, they stayed together, even had another kid, for our sake, and hated each other every minute of their marriage. Now, all of my dad’s kids are REALLY emotionally scarred by him (which, oddly enough, brings us even closer together, but…). Of course, it would have been best if they had split up and he left for good, but…The best part about doing it when they are little is that they aren’t as used to their parents being together as they would be when they are older, and don’t really remember any kind of different life. Of course, it’s bad no matter what.
As far as you seeing him more than his parents do, sadly, that’s a fact for most caregivers with parents who work anymore. That’s why I stopped working…I was tired of watching my kid look to his grandma as his mother!
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Reading this reminded me of the two boys I watched. Their mom and dad both worked and did not seem to have time for them. It would be nothing for her to bring on a Monday and not show up for a day or so. She would call and say she and hubby wanted to do something that night so she was going to leave them over at our house. I was not going to do it once and the oldest who was 8, looked at me and said, “If you don’t watch us, another sitter will.” So I would relent. My husband and were more stable in their lives then their parents were and we loved them but we were not their parents.
It is sad….
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