I can hear my husband’s snores, even though the television news is on. The boys finally stopped talking and fell into a sloppy sleep. The little kids sleep quietly and soundly and I haven’t heard from them in hours and hours.
Tonight, before I left for Weight Watchers, I asked my husband if he could put Babygirl to bed for me. He said he could if I wanted. So, off I went to my meeting and received news of a gain this week (what do you expect when you are lingering between two plans, not doing either of them?) and afterwards, I went to Target to get dishwasher liquid.
I felt like crying. I feel like a tree bending in the wind, just before it snaps and crashes into someone’s living room. In other words, I am a woman who is hormonal.
When I pulled into our driveway at 8:11 p.m. (eleven minutes past Babygirl’s bedtime) her bedroom light was on. I came into the house and she was halfway down the stairs, joyously announcing, “Mommy’s here!” I could not understand why I was seeing her cute little face when it was past her bedtime and I’d asked my husband to put her to bed.
I went into her room with her, watched her video with her and wept. I cried because I have too much to do and I didn’t stay on the Weight Watchers program and I can’t seem to find time for myself until my youngest child/ren are three years old and by that time, I’ll be over 40 and our trip to Walt Disney World is next summer and will I actually be the fattest mom in the Happiest Place On Earth?
Then I plopped Babygirl into bed. She protested, until I offered her the choice, “Would you like Mommy or Daddy to cover you up?” She thought a moment, then gave up and let me cover her. She stopped crying just as I closed the door. So did I.
I’m still typing (my transcription work) because I agreed to transcribe another tape. Why? I have clearly lost my mind. This afternoon, I cooked an entire dinner and then gave it away to my friend who has a newborn. Then I cooked again for my own family. (I know. There would have been a more efficient way to do that, but I hadn’t planned ahead because I’m a dunce.) I feel like I washed every dish in my kitchen–twice. I also think I washed, dried and folded every item of clothing in this house. So how it is that I still have dirty laundry on the laundry room floor?
Actual Unretouched Photo 
((((Melodee))) It seems you are crying a lot these days … I really wish that I could somehow help out or cheer you up in some manner.
I feel your pain … somedays I’m in tears myself over everything, but yet nothing at all. So if that is abnormal, we can be abnormal together. In the meantime I’m sending a lot of hugs your way.
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((((Melodee))) It seems you are crying a lot these days … I really wish that I could somehow help out or cheer you up in some manner.
I feel your pain … somedays I’m in tears myself over everything, but yet nothing at all. So if that is abnormal, we can be abnormal together. In the meantime I’m sending a lot of hugs your way.
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I’m packing to leave for vacation. I’m behind because I actually DID clean out a closet today. When I get back, I’m turning it into a mini library. I’m hormonal too, but I feel angry. Really really angry. And sad, as I have to face the fact that my mother is clearly exhibiting all the signs of Alzeheimer’s. And, my folks are traveling with us on vacation. I’m REALLY going to need a vacation when I get back from vacation. Wish I could cry. I can scream, but I can’t cry (unless, of course, i watch a movie where a dog dies…).
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I’m packing to leave for vacation. I’m behind because I actually DID clean out a closet today. When I get back, I’m turning it into a mini library. I’m hormonal too, but I feel angry. Really really angry. And sad, as I have to face the fact that my mother is clearly exhibiting all the signs of Alzeheimer’s. And, my folks are traveling with us on vacation. I’m REALLY going to need a vacation when I get back from vacation. Wish I could cry. I can scream, but I can’t cry (unless, of course, i watch a movie where a dog dies…).
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Sometimes your life reminds me of a poem. Something written months ago about dishes and laundry never staying clean. I don’t think i really understood what it meant until just now.
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Sometimes your life reminds me of a poem. Something written months ago about dishes and laundry never staying clean. I don’t think i really understood what it meant until just now.
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There is no way to do everything…especially when you are being a good friend and giving away your dinner. I know that this day has passed, and hopefully that sadness has passed as well. I really understand days like that.
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There is no way to do everything…especially when you are being a good friend and giving away your dinner. I know that this day has passed, and hopefully that sadness has passed as well. I really understand days like that.
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