This morning while it was still dark, a high school girl was hit by a car near the local high school. Apparently, a helicopter was flown in, but she did not have to be “life-flighted.” Good news, right?
I know this because today, while I was at the grocery store in a gigantic hurry–I am always in a gigantic hurry–the checker (clerk? the grocery-scanner-lady?) chit-chatted with the mom and daughter ahead of me and they related this story to her in a very unhurried manner while I was tapping my fingers on the conveyor belt and reading magazine covers and wondering just how slow exactly she could go–she stopped scanning so she could more fully engage in conversation.
And then when it was my turn, she wanted to recap the conversation with me, asking if “we” were that careless when we were that age. I was just thinking, HURRY HURRY HURRY I HAVE A MEETING IN THIRTEEN MINUTES. (And the drive home would take ten minutes if I disregarded the 25 m.p.h. speed limit, which I did, sorry Public Safety Officers.)
The problem is that no one is as quick as me. I wash dishes faster than anyone you know. I cannot walk slowly, no matter what, no matter where. I am constantly five feet ahead of my family when we go somewhere and if I slow down, they slow down even more, so I can’t win. (Well, I could win if there were a finish-line, but alas, there is no finish-line.)
I fold clothes fast. I type fast, really, really fast. I read fast. I drive fast. I am in a big hurry all the time. And no one else in my world shares that perspective. They are all lollygagging around, taking their sweet time doing whatever it is that people do when they are not in frantic pursuit of quickness.
The only thing I do positively slowly is wake up. I am the slowest-waker-upper in the entire hemisphere. But I make up for that by emptying and filling the dishwasher in the time it takes my oatmeal to cook in the microwave.
I am saving time. . . I hope I’ll have enough saved up to slow down at some point. But I doubt it. (Now, move aside so I don’t have to run you over. HURRY.)