Last night was my 9-year old’s football banquet, also known as two hours of chaos and a plate full of cold spaghetti. The most curious moment of the night happened after I had been distracted from the introduction of each football player. I regained my focus and turned back to the makeshift stage. At that very moment, a mother in front of me turned around and said, “HEY, WE CLAPPED FOR YOUR KIDS! NOW CLAP FOR OURS!”
I obediently put my hands together and resumed my mindless clapping for kids I didn’t know. Noise already filled the room to capacity and I can’t believe the elimination of my clapping made any difference to that mother, but it did.
Her assertiveness, however weird and misplaced, reminded me of the movie theater last weekend. I went to see “Gone Baby Gone” (good movie, but not quite as good as the hype), and one seat away from me sat a talkative couple. They chatted through previews and I hoped that they’d stop during the movie. She swiveled in her seat and thrust her high-heeled feet across his lap, a clear indication that they were on a date, if you ask me. I wouldn’t dream of putting my feet across my husband’s lap at a movie theater.
They continued to murmur and talk during the movie. I kept turning to glare at him, but he apparently had no peripheral vision. I seriously considered tossing popcorn at them, but then remembered I am not eleven years old. Finally, to my great relief, a woman on the other side of the Talkative Couple stood up, marched audibly over to them and said in an indignant voice, “Will you please stop talking? It is hard to watch a movie while you’re making so much noise!”
And, what do you know, the Talkative Couple shut up.
I was able to eat all my popcorn and not waste a single kernel by pelting the inconsiderate idiots who should rent a DVD if they cannot watch a movie in silence.