1) I have purchased exactly one plunger, which may or may not be located near the toilet currently overflowing. (We have three toilets, one plunger, a 3:1 ratio, obviously not efficient.)
2) I leave wads of crumpled used tissues on my bedside table. What can I say? I have allergies.
3) At least once a month, eager for an evening snack, he pours cereal in a bowl, opens the fridge and finds . . . no milk. This is highly disappointing to him.
4) I leave shoes out, under the dresser, near the bed, wherever. I can’t be bothered.
5) I insist on doing things My Way (aka The Right Way), things like loading the dishwasher and packing correctly for trips.
6) I turn down corners of the magazines he leaves in the bathroom so I can pick up where I left off.
8) I mock his heritage by using an improbably bad Southern accent.
9) I talk to him during “important” portions of shows he’s trying to watch.
10) I don’t get out of bed when the alarm rings. I’m a three-hits-to-the-snooze-button kind of girl.