Dear Church Member:
Listen, you knucklehead. My husband is your spiritual leader. You interviewed him, you hired him, you chose him to lead your church. If you want him to lead, please get behind him. In other words:
1) When another church member or employee has a dispute with the pastor, don’t assume the worst of the pastor. He cannot defend himself publicly because he would be betraying a confidence and gossiping. Who do you believe? The church member or employee? Or your pastor? Who gets the benefit of the doubt? Here’s a hint: (the pastor!).
2) Your pastor is a human being, married to a human being, trying to parent smaller human beings. Cut him some slack. Do you have any idea who many hours he works? Do you really think he only works on Sundays?
3) Guess what? Your pastor has emotions. When you assume the worst about him, when you doubt him, when you decide that you will no longer volunteer because of some personal slight, his feelings are hurt.
4) Your pastor is not your parent. You are not a child, so quit acting like one. If your cell phone goes off during the sermon, your pastor will be annoyed. He might even make a comment. If he does, take responsiblity. You are really going to leave the church over this? Grow up.
5) Your pastor’s wife is not his secretary. If you want to leave a message for him, call his office. Your pastor’s wife is probably juggling a baby on one hip and the phone in the other while she makes a sandwich for the kindergartener. No, she canNOT take a message. She only said, “Can I take a message” out of habit. She wasn’t serious.
6) Sunday morning is not the time for idle chit-chat or bringing up a “concern” with your pastor. His mind is on the impending church service and on his sermon. He is trying to communicate God’s truth to a church full of people. Please do not divert his attention to anything non-esssential, like the fact that “Myrtle” was offended by the music last Sunday morning.
7) Your pastor is the first person who will be at your bedside during your hospitalization, even if you are an idiot. He will pray with you, bring you flowers, telephone you. He will try to convince your spouse not to leave you. He will visit your son in prison. He will arrange for help so you can pay your overdue electric bill. He will keep your secrets. He won’t roll his eyes at your stupidity. He’ll baptize your baby. He will invite your daughter to stay in his home when she’s released from jail. He will hold your hand while your mother dies. He’ll hold your hand while you die. He’ll spend his Saturday morning planning a meaningful memorial service for your father. He’ll marry you and bury you, cradle-to-grave service.
That’s his job.
My job is to take care of everything else at home and to listen to how sad and frustrated he is, even though he can’t tell me exactly why without betraying a confidence. My job is to tell him he’s doing a great job, despite the way you treat him. My job is to smile at you, even though you act like a twelve year old and make my husband’s job more difficult.
Frankly, I think I’m underpaid.
Actual Unretouched Photo 